you ought to hae long chapters, some paragraphing and maybe some more description. Otherwiuse, the plot sounds great!
I have already read this my comment is like two down from this. :) It;s still amazing!
I'm not a big fan of vampire stories, but you managed to get my attention with this one. I really like it. I really like Jaycie, she feels very real. Good Job!
I thought all vampire stories have been done and redone, but this one has a quite original spin. You've got me interested! Voted
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