Faith Has To Be Gained

13 Part Story 4.1K Reads 211 Votes
Dimitra By DemmyVampireAcademy Updated 3 years ago
Meet Faith Simpson and her older brother, Chuck Simpson. Meet their over busy mother, who works all the time to overcome their father’s death. So, what’s left for the two siblings? Handle the whole house, struggle with their parent’s death, cope with all the high school drama and face all the difficulties of life totally alone. The absence of their mother is costing Faith and her brother, but on the other hand, who wouldn’t want to be this free? But something unexpected comes to “shake” their lives again, but Faith wonders: Is it worth it?
one suggestion that i have would be to italicize your MC's thoughts. it would be easier to picture it out that it was a thought and you wouldn't really need to say that it's a thought every time. other than these, this was a good start! :)
Pretty good, VOTED, and likie the name, haha Chuck so original! great work
great start. I think this has a great flow to it, right from the start I found myself interested in the story and I didn't get distracted once so the plot was good. Your dialogue is great, very realistic and smooth. Very well written.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA tomato :3 thats bad but yeah- atleast its not beetroot   XD haha love this! And im adding to library, just saying. I hate math :3
                                    theres no forced thoughts-- all of her thoughts are natural <3 love it
I really like how you hve strong characters with different characteristics. That makes the story more interesting since it's not all the same and you expect different things. Anyways, great writing skills and I don't see any errors, so:
                                    GOOD JOB! lol. You should really be proud. I love this chapter!
Your story is great. I'm a little confused about whats going on with the spacing, because it distracts a bit from the story, but it isn't a big problem. Anyway ~ Voted.