Gives the vibeof mystery instantly! captivating and intreguing! your descriptions are amazing! reading on!
Wow, this was just great! The details, the flow, the characters, the plot, etc. it was perfect! Reading on.
cool and creepy, your use of words is really good. i liked the way you described everything. and your story concept is unique and original. good work.
this is a great start and your spelling punctuation and grammar is fab :P i love the story, its unique and i'm going to read on!
I like this first chapter. It has a good concept and I like the way you have written it :) now I'm off to the next chapter -->
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