The Girl That Was Buried In Her Ball Gown

18 Part Story 4.8K Reads 169 Votes
Ian King By dotandtittle Updated 2 months ago
How could one evening at the junior high school ball turn into something completely unexpected.  When something goes terribly wrong, what will happen to a young girl who's world has been turned upside down?  Who can she turn to, who can she trust?  What is it with these others that are trying to impersonate her and leading her to some place she does not want to go.
I don't notice any grammar mistakes I just get lost in the story,nobody's books I read will get me correcting them on anything,I just enjoy the story,the plot and the great writing
I absolutely love it so far,I just knew I would,fantastic and definitely makes me want to read more
This, in some ways reminds me of my thirteen year old self. 
                                    
                                    You are such a professional writer and really have captured the essence of a young teenager. It is really wonderful to behold. Very well done!
I love the descriptive techniques- 'menacing roar'. This is so sophisticated :)
Very well written. I like how you've conveyed her feelings perfectly through words :) I'm liking the usage of Maori words also. I'll definitely read some more
Great first chapter! The length was perfect, it wasn't too long or too short. Your description fit very nicely, and i got a great look at the MC. Wonderful!