This is great...
It would be great if you re wrote it into a novel :)
keep on writing!
It was quite good. You can continue the story for sure, I would have loved to read how the adventure unfolds! :)
I like the freedom theme. That readers are interested to see what happens next shows you've outdone yourself. Very good.
Interesting idea... the plan seemed to go a little too smoothly though, so I never felt like your characters were in any real danger.
you should make more chapters and pages because i think you got something going here
Aside from that i think that it is really good
I do like it. Please continue with a little bit of a backstory and a look at the future for the girls.!
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