Like An Open Book (Under Construction)

2 Part Story 628 Reads 10 Votes
A.J. Shay By Anamnesis Updated 8 months ago
Virginia Salzmann never wanted to move away from the small suburban area she grew up in. She never wanted to leave behind all the memories she had in her old home. She never wanted to abandon her childhood friends or struggle to make new ones in a city she didn't even want to move to. Most of all, she didn't want to start her life all over again.
    
    But ever since her father died, in what the media believed to be a police misfire, she can no longer make any decisions for herself. So, when her mother receives a job promotion and has to move halfway around the world, Virginia doesn't argue at all. She knows her mother is having a harder time accepting her father's death than she, so Virginia tries to help her mother as much as she can. Cooking, cleaning, watching over her two younger siblings and reassuring them that life would go back to normal someday – Virginia did all this while her mother was busy making a living.
    
    While stressing about fitting into a new school, making new friends, and trying to cope with her father's death, Virginia has a full plate on her hands. But once she stumbles upon a worn out, leather-covered book, and starts to hear a foul-mouthed voice inside her head and seeing spandex cladded wannabes parading the city, Virginia has more than just high school to worry about now.
great job, very well written! Watch you don't overuse ellipses (the ... things). You changed tenses maybe twice - other than that, awesome description. You have a real talent for conveying emotions and images. Be proud of yourself; you're a natural :)
Your book is really good how dare you call yourself an amateur writer you are AMAZING!!!!
when it said you were an amateur i wasn't expecting this. It's really good. I can't wait ot read more. (especially since I want to see why the book is talking to her or if it is talking to her ^^ anyways It's awesome.)
Are you sure ou're just an amateur? You are very good and this is very well written. Creative idea. I can't wait to read more.
Ur writing interacts with the writer, which can be good for some people and bad for the rest. I am open 4 both though ;) U should continue this. And don't worry; I have seen worse!
Lol it was funny in some parts! And I don't normally like stories that are written this casually, but this is pretty darn good!! :) The way you talk to the readers without them really noticing is awesome! :P (If you get what I meant)