This story has good vivid details and description. The plot is also very well written. Keep up the good work, and add as much detail as possible (but not too much) to make it lively and realistic.
The concept of your story is very intriguing, I love the originality of it. Definetly captured my attention. Good job!
(: I like your story, its different than a-lot of things I have read. Just a few issues with punctiation, but everyone has that, in daily lives. (: -VOTES- (:
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