Dark Matter

8 Part Story 24.6K Reads 1K Votes
_Merricart By _Merricart Updated 2 years ago
The mysterious Cave, guarded by the military, is a source of endless fascination to the townspeople. When a series of earthquakes hit, rumours spread that the Cave was responsible. Teenage girl Eloni was about to find out if the rumours were true. On her sixteenth birthday, Eloni was given a gift by old man Perryham, resident creep and self-proclaimed wizard. When Eloni accidentally made a birthday wish, the wizard's gift stole the heart of the boy she liked. To restore his heart, Eloni must complete a mission for Perryham: to go deep into the Cave and slay the monsters from another dimension.
Sylveete Sylveete 2 years ago
How can nuttyham make her fight a monster when she doesn't even know how to sword fight and stuff! Really, that evil, insane old man >:(
JDHill JDHill 2 years ago
Wow. So hi. I LOVE your writing! The scene in the cave was perfectly pictured in my mind. How amazing! This story is really creative, wherever I find description it's very detailed! Good flow, and though I never read this genre, this story is without a doubt an exception! Great job!
GreenNeonZebra GreenNeonZebra 2 years ago
This would be a awesome movie, but to me it feels like a movie because of your amazing descriptions! The writing style is amazing as well as the word flow, mood, and the tone good work voted
PashaMoore PashaMoore 2 years ago
I like how you used third person, it's nice to read. This was really good fomr the start and held my attention well. Your charcters are well thoughout and this story is well written :)
Starlight1000 Starlight1000 2 years ago
I love how the story started and i havent read any sic-fi EVER! but this story seems to be really good and like something i would enjoy. i am adding this to my reading list and voting! :)
Jeanclaude1989 Jeanclaude1989 2 years ago
Honestly, this should be turned into a screenplay. It would make a very successful pre-teen film.