i wasn't sure about the somewhat cliche beginning, but you made it up with your descriptions and imagery :) voted
@DeJonMookieKing You're welcome! And yeah course I will as soon as I get the time! I've fanned you so I won't forget. :)
You're a really good writer, loving it so far. Can't wait to read more of it. <3 xx
@DeJonMookieKing I think if you go with first person the reader can get a better idea of the main character and his feelings for Ariel :)
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