Whoa that's suspenseful, different to what I usually read in general but great descriptions and kept me engaged the entire time, awesome job! :)
Already there is a sense of suspense and mystery. I like it so far and look forward to reading more of it. :D
This is an amazing first chapter; you had me intrigued and kept my interest from the first line! Voted:)
You have a great sense of action and keeping my interest! Nice job on this chapter, you also did great with description and flow :D
This was an intriguing start, and I love where your going with it. It as suspense and mystery. Its definetly going to be a great read :)
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