This was interesting. I did notice quite a few grammar errors and a lot of run on sentences that make it harder to bread. But your ideas seem new and original.
wohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhho! there is french in this. yayyyyyyy sorry i am just obbsesed with france. any how really good and different plot. voted!
I really like the start of your story :D it's very interesting.. i should stop typing so i can read the rest :D
You gave pages that are worth it. It's really amazing to read this story so far. The flow is really nice. The character's build up was incredible. Great work.
There were some grammar errors, but the characters were introduced well (: Well done!
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