This is really good! And the vocab and detail is amazing which makes reading this short story even better :)x
Yes, now this sounds like a different one! I'm off to read the next chapter. Voted :)
Great story, amazing story line nice detail. You should try and brake up the paragraphs
The detail is pretty good but you had a few run on sentencews that you might want to consider shortening.
Actually this story is pretty amazing, so far so good :) And please do check ou my book a musical recovery, thanks! :D
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