Okay, your plot's terrific, your words are quiet well-picked but you keep using the word "said"!
nice, but the line at the end would sound better if it waa "learning how to flirt" u should change it :)
Umm... I think you mean shirt instead of chemise. A chemise is a woman's night dress or undergarment. ;)
I haven't read your story yet but it already sounds amazing and the guy in the vid is super hot lol
my dear, zach in the video is totally hot and if you want a character list and need his name, it's Sam way :P he is absolutely gorgeous :P mouth watering :P
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| Name | Muffin |
| Location | In my own limitless mind |
| Member Since | Mar 02, 2011 |
| Votes Received | 14,439 |