The One Who Was [ON HOLD]

9 Part Story 982 Reads 48 Votes
ADarkAndStormyNight By ADarkAndStormyNight Updated a year ago
"That is all that is left of my humanity, Clara. An image with less substance than a ghost."

He seemed to be genuinely upset.

"What are you then?"

"A Tsal."

He said it bitterly, as if it were a painful memory that he'd rather forget.

"A Tsal," he said again, "nothing more than a slave."


Most people think that vampires are ruthless blood-sucking creatures. I thought so too, before I became one. Now I'm not so sure. Now, I'm starting to believe what they tell me about their purpose. This is my life, and First Death. Read on, and know that what I transcribe is the truth as it happened to me.

My name was Clara. Now it is Klarae. Call me either one, I am beyond caring.
CobaltLee CobaltLee 2 years ago
Well written so far- a couple of typos aside.  I would try to make Chapter 1 longer to hook more readers.
Etcetera Etcetera 2 years ago
Oh wow, this was pretty interesting. Although the length of the chapter was very short, I really enjoyed the twist at the end! :D Again, I can't really make a thorough judgement yet because this was so short, but in terms of writing delivery, it was very well done.
Armiella Armiella 2 years ago
I noticed the t-shirt thing, but I probably wouldn't've commented on it if you hadn't said anything. 

If you wanted to be totally original, you should write a vampire story where the protagonist is a girl who can't stand vampire stories. Then she gets thrown into one.
ThisisScotland ThisisScotland 2 years ago
@monkey423 really? I thought the t-shirt thing was a smart input lol
yeah, I know what you mean and thanks to you too! :D
ThisisScotland ThisisScotland 2 years ago
This actually seems very interesting. No romance in a vampire book? I must be dreaming! Thank God, I was getting tired of them all.
Haha she loves vampires, I wonde if that will change once she meets them lol
Definitely voted! XD
nicesockspercy nicesockspercy 2 years ago
This is a really interesting book. :) You have great writing skills.