very cool idea :) just some cleaning up, grammar and stuff and it should be great! i really like the idea.
its a good start. love the Inheritence cycle and i'm sure i'm going to love this too. voted!
Hmm it needs some editing done to it, and maybe some detailed description of whats happening, especially in your dialogue :) cool xx
Good beginning, just need to straighten out the creases and it should be perfect :D love the idea and it's very original xx
If its anything to do with the inheritence cycle then its something to do with me ............................ awesome writting.
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