Run (Watty Awards 2012) *0n hold*

2 Part Story 610 Reads 83 Votes
_Icantakeyouaway By _Icantakeyouaway Updated 11 months ago
(Trailer Inside) Elissa's just like everyone else. She attends her local high school and tries not to fall asleep in class. But, lately a woman has been watching her outside her classroom window. One day she gets a call to the office and her father's coworker is there to pick her up. When she arrives home she finds her father unmoving and her sister gone. That one day starts a treacherous journey of terror and lies...  But, what she doesn't know is that a man has been watching her and kidnap is on his agenda.
ARyding ARyding 2 years ago
This was cool. I thought that when she tought 'I hope everything is going to be ok' it was a little over kill. I think the whole thing was maybe a little overkill. 

You have a great story and a great idea and I would have liked to maybe see more description? Add more suspense. :)
ThinkHappy ThinkHappy 2 years ago
"Piercing, emerald eyes." 
I love that description its so cool! I also love how straightforward and to the point this is. It sounds like it'll be really good. It's fast-paced and doesn't lack intrigue. I'm already wanting to read on! Voted. :)
dreamernow31 dreamernow31 2 years ago
I liked how you described how she felt. It was very descriptive :)
DCProductions DCProductions 2 years ago
It has a good plot but i think you need to add a little more description, maybe the 5 senses. I had the same problem, so no worries! :D Keep writing!!!!! ~Dezmina
AvengerIAm AvengerIAm 2 years ago
@Icantakeyouaway For most of it generally but for now the descriptions.
AvengerIAm AvengerIAm 2 years ago
@Icantakeyouaway You should use bigger words and synonyms. :)