I like it. It really catches the readers attention. I was a little cunfused, but I feel like that's what you're going for. Great job!
This is a really great start. I loved it and you are really good at building up suspense.
This is really good. You're a great writer, and you really good at building up suspense. Loved it
The detail was very well done, made everything more intereting! The main character seems very likable, overall really good start! Can't wait to read more!
sorry if it took me an hour to read your story, i was busy but anyways it's a fresh start and I like it, I like it how mystery plays with me. Really good :)
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