this is a really good first chapter! love the cover! please carry on i really want to know what happens next!:)
Your details are great! I don't normally read stories like this, but I think your story changed my mind
I suggest more of a cliffhanger at the end, to make your readers ravenous for more.
Alright, so I voted because I liked the idea, but there are several grammatical errors in here.
Your descriptions are captivating and the plot so far is very intresting, I love the mystery in this also but there are a few errors but it's fine :)
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