When It Rained

19 Part Story 12.7K Reads 273 Votes
Rhiana (Rhi) By Rhiana (Rhi) Completed
Sometimes it takes a tragedy to truly bring people together. When Freya Anderson moves to Cincinnati with her father, she meets Chesmu; a reserved young man with an abundance of secrets..Will opposites attract or will things go horribly wrong for these two unlikely friends?
Really good start, it kept me interested, I'm going to read the next chapter (:
Voted.
Nice protagonist details, but you could lengthen it up a wee bit more. 
Throw in some details, and balance it out.

GOOD JOB! PS - Don't write numbers below hundred in numerals.
very nice prologue :D very well written :) really liked how you're starting to portray the main character. didn't spot any errors. (plus for me). keep it up! :) voted!
I like the fact you have some detail and description but not to much for were the reader gets bored. The idea of the story seems pretty interesting so far.
I just love reading teen fiction/romance stories.. there are the best..
i love her name! :D also, i love the way you started off! definitely hooked me in <3 great job with the beginning :)