I really like this! you got me hooked from the start! I didnt see any mistakes. overall is was an awesome read :D *voted*
its different from anything ive read before. sounds like a really long poem/ short story. is it?
sad cos ppl can relate to this =P
its nice though ^^
Awww! That is so cute! she should of just told him flat out!
I cannot find anything wring with your story.
Voted, Leannee <3
i really like it. i've had a similar experience and my heart aches just thinking of it. good work though :D
There's a real sense of anger and intensity that comes through here. I also pick up a bit of desperation. Good job with this. Voted and am reading part 2.
Oh wow, that was really good. I liked the style you wrote it in! I can't wait for the second chapter! :)
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