This is interesting. I like the way you placed the paragraphs, and how you started off the story. The fact that Mark is dying immediatly pulls me in with loads of questions this chapter answers. I'm going to vote. Great job :)
This was REALLY good and wow, your way with words is amazing :) Good job and keep writing because you sure do have a talent for it!
This was really, really amazing. You gave me like a super long comment on my story and I can't even think of anything to say other than 'Amazing!' Wonderfully written!
This was a really beautiful short piece. You obviously have a lot of writing talent. I wish I was as good! Great job :)
This is just like... bloody beautiful, Ang. I love the start :)
I don't have much to say other than that though...
<3 Love you <3