You need more details, but other than that, it's fine. Oh, and don't but the dialogue in bold ;) Anyways, it's a great plot, keep up the good work
It was a great start and it kept me hooked till the end :) Love the humour. Voted.
this was a fun read hahahah just maybe not bold the words here and there? unl;ess there is a reason for you doing so
I loved it, and you are actually a good writer. :) I saw no mistakes and your descriptions are really good. -voted-
Add to your private library
Add this story to your public reading lists