Yes I Said It I'm In Love with the Fat Girl

22 Part Story 338K Reads 4.2K Votes
Kahlan Storm's life was always hard she had a dad who was a drug addicted who was in jail with no mother around her brother is going to marry soon and she is all alone and she was fat. Brandon Fury was the quarter back for East High he was popular and had everything he could ever want, so it appeared anyways. but he was failing school so his dad ask Kahlan a straight A student  to tutor him. once they are together they find themselves falling in love. But With Cody Missy, Griffin and Stacey around it seemed they were going to be torn apart. Cover thanks to my wonderful cousin Skye.
In my opinion again it's up to you in the end, but I believe it would be better to get rid of the "for".
the grammar is really starting to bug me and you may want to work on the whole "building suspense" thing. because the story is actually moving too fast. but other than that good story, i like the storyline. (ps. im actually on chapter 15)
Yeah I couldn't even read past the first paragraph....sorry:(
@blackice45 That's what I thought. Read the first few paragraphs & I just couldn't continue. Sorry :( x
i tried to read til the end but i just couldnt. i would give you suggestions on how to improve the story but i dont know what you can do. all i could say is rewrite it. thats all i have to say. not being mean just voicing my opinion. :)xoxo
awww what a hot jerk... lol I love how she calls him meat head ROFL I love it