The War of the Mortals[Watty Award 2012]

7 Part Story 1.4K Reads 109 Votes
_imran_theauthor By _imran_theauthor Updated 11 months ago
A war story

A story of pain and suffering 

A story of a soldier
RJRyder RJRyder 2 years ago
I love the phrase 'his lilps dry as tinder' - it conjures up a great image.  I can almost feel the dry lips...

But one thing struck me as slightly odd - is the phrase 'he didn't want to argue about being jammy or not' something that would have been used in 1903?
EKShortstories EKShortstories 2 years ago
The descriptions were beautiful, wow! And I don't think the paragraphs are too big, in published stories, a paragraph can be almost a page 0.o Brilliant work, and the story is also quite interesting!
xoxorose xoxorose 2 years ago
wow this got me hooked i love the descriptions and its actually pretty new from what i usually read
DanceBunny DanceBunny 2 years ago
This was fantastic! It grabbed my attention from the beginning, and because you described everything so well I didn't get lost anywhere (which happens with me sometimes :P). Really great, I hope you keep on writing! ^0^
FenrisWolf FenrisWolf 2 years ago
Great intro. It was extremely descriptive. From someone scanning's point of view, you might want to click the enter button a few more times. I liked how you left a lot hanging, so we would be intrigued to read on. 
Good writing, I like it so far :D
DylanThiel DylanThiel 2 years ago
you have amazing descriptions, and even though yeah you had some spelling issues it didnt take me away from the story :D pretty short chapter, but i am diffinitly drawn to the struggles :)