Kidnapped: Part 1

2 Part Story 472 Reads 25 Votes
ThatsJustLife By ThatsJustLife Updated 5 months ago
A sixteen year old named Charlie, was kidnapped when he was 8. Eight years later his kidnappers wants him to help kidnap another child for them. What will he do? How will he over come his fair of kidnapping another child. Will he try to run away or will he stay? Read to find out!
Good story!! Although very similar to the criminal minds ep 'mosely lane' luv CM :)
MarineLynn MarineLynn 3 years ago
I thought you could've used more description, especially with this genre, you can do a lot with it. You had lots of emotion in the present writing, but not enough in the past.
adrianlover97 adrianlover97 3 years ago
I love it! Update soon it! This sounds like an episode of Crimenal Minds that I saw but a little different! Loves it thou!
TheEnvied TheEnvied 3 years ago
Really good beginning! Attention grabbing and enticing? haha. Can't wait to read more. voted :)
Rearea1998 Rearea1998 3 years ago
The plot line is good I just suggest try to show not tell. I used to have this problem to. Instead of saying "I have black hair" try to spice it up by saying "my black hair was ruffled on top of my head" or something like that. Taken my suggestion or not either way the plot line is great (:
katbug9608 katbug9608 3 years ago
I doubt you could with such a good story.  I cant wait to read it.