Agonizing Darkness

9 Part Story 900 Reads 80 Votes
Gamehaxxers By Gamehaxxers Updated 2 years ago
Aero Stanley wakes up in a cold dark chamber, not aware of where he is, and who he is. He could barely walk and explore the chamber, but he manages somehow. While looking around the chamber, he discovered the carcass of his brother, which was his first memory that returnedsince he woke up. Now he must set off on a journey to avenge the death of his brother.
XLolzX XLolzX 3 years ago
Just reading the ending makes me feel sorry for the main character losing her/his parents then brother. It makes you want to read on to see what happens next. I found it interesting so I voted! =D
mizukichan11 mizukichan11 3 years ago
awesome!! I love the action in this chapter. its short but oh well maybe u can add some descriptions and more details to it :)
mizukichan11 mizukichan11 3 years ago
Awesome!! and mysterious!! Omg poor winston!! He didn't die as well did he?? :O
ESYLuc ESYLuc 3 years ago
Hehe. I like the name Winston XD 
Space out your paragraphs more and double space the dialogue
- Emile
ESYLuc ESYLuc 3 years ago
Double space between your dialogue and your paragraphs
Check your punctuation such as apostrophes: e.g. "boys name is.." --> "boy's name is"
I've read some of the chapters and they're pretty short - maybe write a bit more. 
However, I do like the concept of the storyline.
- Emile
xFakingaSmilex xFakingaSmilex 3 years ago
Not a bad start. I'm gonna keep reading to find out more.. :D