4 Part Story 664 Reads 89 Votes
_bbbutterfly By _bbbutterfly Updated 2 years ago
Tia Mercer, is your average broke girl. With no parents and nowhere to live, she's normally out and about living on the streets. 

That is until one day she comes across a group of men, all looking at her with evil eyes. When one points a gun at her, her world flashes before her eyes.
ainnnx ainnnx 2 years ago
Awesome. I love your story. it's not too cliche and it seems to be very interesting. I'd love to read more! xo
bardicinnature bardicinnature 2 years ago
I spotted some errors here, but it's not something you can't give an editor to fix up ;D Keep writing! You work in a magnificent way :D
casualCasualty casualCasualty 2 years ago
aksjkldf Regardless of the one mistake (typo/glitched keyboard? An "I" wasn't capitalized haha) I noticed, this is nicely written! I'm definitely planning on reading the rest of it!
Springgirl101 Springgirl101 2 years ago
I love this. It's so interesting, and it is well-written <3.
l8te4ever l8te4ever 2 years ago
I enjoyed reading it very much although there's some errors but nothing you can't correct. And I suggest that you should break it to more paragraphs. Overall, it's amazing. I love d actions and the intensity. :D
mystifique mystifique 2 years ago
Just what I'd suggest you is to break up the longer paragraphs. Then, I was impressed by your detailed descriptions, they really brought the scene to life! You had me captivated from the start and you held my attention to the very end. The short sentences may seem jumpy to some, but I loved them!