Undiscovered Critiques

So, I'm up for critiquing some pieces, but here are my rules: 1) Less than 5 chapters. I know, I know, that cuts it down by a lot. But I want to get to the newer authors first who haven't had as much experience in writing. AND, it's easier for me to critique when there isn't as much to read. 2) Not too many comments: Like I said before, this is for starting authors who really need the boost. Point concluded. 3) Hmmm... I'm not too big on werewolf, vampire, fantasy stories. So there is a likelihood I won't be looking at those. 4) Won't be easily offended. Trust me when I say I can be mean and critical. But I want to see you improve, which is why I'm here. (:

Kapeesh? Okay, post away. Disclaimer: I MAY NOT get to everybody.... I have a life outside of Wattpad, you know. (:

P.S. - If you want to check out my stories, that would be awesome. But it is not required or necessary. But you know...

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http://www.wattpad.com/story/1300756-raven

Here's one that I have done a little while ago...not sure if I should continue it or not. Obviously it's only a draft, but better to critique it now when I am ready to fix it ;)

And yeah, defs undiscovered :)

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@Fotogenik Hey I have posted a story here on wattpad its mystery/romance. Please could you read ait and tell me how it is? Yes the story is undiscovered. Thanks a lot!

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@Fotogenik Here's mien. :) I hope you'll like it. :)

Title: Glittery Dust

Genre: Romance, Teen Fiction

Link: http://www.wattpad.com/story/1381098-glittery-dust-ongoing-series

Summary: In an unexpected scene, Farah Alcantara met Nathan Young, a cocky, arogant boy who thought only for himself. By his side, she’d experience something Shaun Moreau never let her experience; to finally be out of her shell and into reality. She’d be on an adventure she’d never forget; feeling happiness, sorrow, love and pain from small things. Unfortunately, fate had a new twist for them. Will Farah be able to weigh a high school friend over a childhood friend?

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http://www.wattpad.com/story/1134537-seeking-happiness

When Belle goes to London, she thought that everything would go smoothly. Until one day, she gets blamed for stealing a painting from a bakery. As punishment, she has to work in the bakery for her entire stay in London. Pretty soon, she finds herself falling in love with Tyler, the bakery owner. Problem is, she's already engaged.

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can u do mine http://www.wattpad.com/story/1118706-being-anna-marie

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@Fotogenik

http://www.wattpad.com/story/962211-little-n-large-watty-awards-2012

Nicole Crystal Welsh is starting her sophomore year at her California performing Arts school with the best social status possible- a floater. Someone popular enough to hang with the popular crowd yet still have the ability to sit with newbies or freshmen. In a place where looks are everything Nicole is beyond satisfied with her position when the inevitable happens- girl meets boy. Floaters are usually loners but Nicole is popular enough to make it work, that's not the issue. The problem is Caleb is a whopping 5'6 and Nicole is 6'1. In a place where looks are everything Nicole must find the strength to break the cookie cutter mold or lose everything she's ever worked for with a few bumps along the way.

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I'd really appreciate a critique. Only 2 chapters and a prologue so far. http://www.wattpad.com/story/1362541-where-is-my-life

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hey here;s mine! I started just yesterday! help? any tips and recommendations?

positive or negative? I can take it! THANKS!

http://www.wattpad.com/story/1419868-inhuman

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Mines short because I just started! But any feedback is helpful! =) http://www.wattpad.com/story/1415040-shattered

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Jason is a fifteen year old boy who was recently transferred to a new school district by recommendation of his psychiatrist. Why? Just because he doesn't talk, barely eats, has little friends, and hates the world everyone thinks he wants to die. Now away from everything that made his depression there is a teacher, just this one, that will change his life when she gave him a little black book for him to write all his thoughts in, with the promise that only he will ever read a word he writes. It's self-discover and that's not what he wants at all. Will Jason get to fill out the last page or will his teacher stop him?

Read along with me as Jason fills out his entries! Currently he is up to Entry 12 and more coming almost everyday.

http://www.wattpad.com/story/1409715-the-flaming-diary

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@Tarnished Done with yours. (: Nice.

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@realmesneha Done (: Good luck on writing more!

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Can you critique mine? :)

http://www.wattpad.com/4456785-safe-and-sound-chapter-one

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@thepursuitofbeing @LovingMyWriting Done, Done. (: I hope you guys continue! (:

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That was wonderful! (: @Shareese86

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@Tiye13 Your's is pretty popular, from what I could see. Thus, I'm going to put it on the bottom of my list and check out the more undiscovered ones, allright?

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Me? Lol, two pages!

http://www.wattpad.com/4773123-mr-player-meets-ms-player-while-playing-games @Fotogenik

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@Zaruian @chase_17 Done. (: Have fun writing more!

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Hey Fotogenik! If you wouldn't mind, can you check out my two "stories" I use the term stories loosely. they're basically just practice writing and I would love to hear what you think! Thanks so much! http://www.wattpad.com/4849834-now-i-can-say-i%27ve-been-kissed-in-the-rain http://www.wattpad.com/4866509-illcia%27s-comb

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@akirez Looked at yours - fantasy's not my favorite, but you're off to a good start!

@SkyCopeland: that was heartwrenching - to see so closely the internal thoughts of someone going through those emotions was really enlightening and I really liked how you worded everything! (I wrote A HUGE comment.... so ya. :P)

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@Praeciarus I looked at it, I agree with mostly the previous critiques, but personally thought it was slightly better than they made it out to be. :P

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http://www.wattpad.com/4190126-the-average-lives-of-above-average-teens

Here's the thing: my story was doing great but I seem to have plateaued after twenty-three votes and twenty-four comments. Now I never get any more feedback and I'm starting to wonder: does my story suck?

So if you would pleeeaaase just read mine and tell me if it's good or bad or if there's anything I need to fix? I would appreciate it, so, so, SO much. (: Please and thank you! Oh, and if it's completely horrible, please don't sugercoat it. Tell me, plain and simple.

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Looked at yours, left a pretty long comment too. Hope it helps! (And i was kinda harsh, sorry -.-...) @Thebraveyam

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@ParadiseKat Looked through both - they have a lot of potential, now just develop on the plot lines! :P

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