In-depth yet Brutally Honest Critiques

Post a link and summery below. If there is anything specific you want to look over, just let me know.

Reply Report

Here's a story!

http://www.wattpad.com/story/103912-circuit

Analeigh Clarence has awoken. Awoken in a city where everyone is controlled by The Government... literally. She has awoken in a place where all citizens are inserted with a B.A.S.S chip, a piece of technology that was created for the specifically to control the human mind, at birth. And now she is the biggest threat to The Government, just by waking up without their consent. A threat, a threat to the perfect society The Government had so beautifully pictured where everyone is a slave. Without say, Analeigh is chosen as leader of the S.A.S, scientist against supremacy, and has to fight for the freedom of the people as she ponders her past, her future and what it means to be truly human. Because she is the only one. The only one who can save them all.

Thank you!

Reply Report

@Storm0Wolf Is poetry okay too?

http://www.wattpad.com/4103124-scars-and-sins-a-book-of-poetry-scars-and-sins

Reply Report

I hope you enjoy! If everything we ever knew was in the hands of three people, who would you pick? Definetly not three people who you believe are crazy, idiotic, and mean, but since you aren't picking, they are the only people that can save us. Not just us, but the people in the paintings or that are statues. A lot of work for three teenagers who just so happen that they are related to three of the most famous artists. The three most famous artists that died because it was their job to protect, but it didn't work out. While they tried to protect, someone else tried to destroy. That person died when the last one of them died, but now, their successors, the three painters and the destroyer, are out to save-or destroy the world. Save or destroy the world with a magic hidden behind art. http://www.wattpad.com/story/1410299-frozen-forever @Storm0Wolf

Reply Report

@ElizabethB I'm not going to lie, I find it hard to correct poetry because you can't really correct or judge someones feelings. I don't think I would be a good person to critique poetry, but I will still check it out.

Reply Report

@Storm0Wolf Alright, thank you! :)

Reply Report

http://www.wattpad.com/story/943080-tracing-echoes @Storm0Wolf could you check out the fourth chapter, thank you so much in advance.

Reply Report

Hey there! Could you maybe please read my story so far? I don't know, but I think that the paragraphs are a bit choppy...

Haven Summers is a fun loving girl. She sings in the rain and believes that every rainbow leads to a pot of gold. She’s loud and crazy, but sweet and understanding when needed. Her happy ways has her best friend falling at her feet with pure love, but her eyes are set on one and one person only, Dalton Jones. The guy every girl wants to have. The star quarterback and star academic achiever. To Haven, it’s an act of destiny for them to be together and when Haven finally gets the guts to confess her love for him, he rejects her like a piece of trash; cold and cruel. It leaves Heaven heartbroken and humiliated. The thing is Haven likes to die hard. She means war. Haven Summers is out for revenge and revenge she will get. But what happens if on her journey she finds out her heart is not the only one that’s been abused? What if she finds herself spiralling in love with him all over again and more?

http://www.wattpad.com/story/1409842-don%27t-go-breaking-my-heart

Thank you! <3

Reply Report

Heres mine http://www.wattpad.com/4773123-mr-player-meets-ms-player-while-playing-games

@Storm0Wolf

Reply Report

http://www.wattpad.com/4190126-the-average-lives-of-above-average-teens

The Average Lives of Above Average Teens

What do a badass pianist, a seemingly talentless party girl, a quiet genius, and an immature guitar player have in common?

Not a damn thing.

Welcome to the Ursula P. Bradley Institution for the Gifted, a school for the prodigal minds of today's generation. If you think our future Fortune 500 CEOs, Albert Einsteins, Beethovens, and Monets can't party...well, think again.

Reply Report

Hey I would adore it if you could read my story its a fantasy book I hope you like it and Im hoping for some good feedback maybe

Reply Report

http://www.wattpad.com/4472906-love-is-the-deadliest-weapon-chapter-17 just this chapter please

Reply Report

Please critique this? :)

http://www.wattpad.com/story/1333513-live-love-laugh-dream-and-everything-in-between

A collection of short stories - from a girl trapped in the wild for survival, to a ghost reminiscing about her past memories and a gang demanding a curious object.

Reply Report

http://www.wattpad.com/4825815-poems-from-a-not-so-good-place-greed

I know you aren't an expert at poetry but just tell me how you felt.

thanks

Reply Report

@Storm0Wolf http://www.wattpad.com/4782133-making-circles thank you in advance

Reply Report

I have a few but please read Isla and the Genie!! http://www.wattpad.com/story/1025369-knowing-you%27re-there Knowing You're There : Xylia Thomas has always tried to fit in with everyone else. But there's one feature that sets her apart from the rest of the crowd: she's blind. The few friends she has are in relationships, and she longs to find love. That's when she meets Kurt, and knows she has found everything in a guy she could possibly dream of- a best friend, band mate, and soul mate.

Isla and the Genie: http://www.wattpad.com/3248774-isla-and-the-genie (1 Page short story) Isla is on a vacation, not enjoying herself. She accidentally stumbles upon a genie bottle on the beach,and is given more than she could ever wish for. (SHORT STORY NUMBER 4!!!!!)

Crash: http://www.wattpad.com/story/970295-crash Bayleigh is a very spoiled girl living the life of luxury. She gets her joy out of picking on others that have less than her, Especially Adriana, who lives in poverty. But suddenly, their family loses everything. They are forced to move into the only place they can afford: the trailer park, right across from Adriana! Will she even survive?

Reply Report

Hi! here is mine, still working on it but its coming along quite nicely... or so I hope... http://www.wattpad.com/4394268-angel%27s-promise . Joey hears demon voices in her head, from her sixth birthday. if it wasnt for Angel, the gentle voice, she would probably be in the loony house by now. Though suddenly the demons dont want to just scare her anymore... now, they want to drag her to the nearest church and spill her blood on the holy ground. with her death, the portals of hell will open. can Angel keep his promise, or will the world be overrun with monsters?

Reply Report

http://www.wattpad.com/mystories?compose=true&id=4826692

I need help with the summary in particular. =)

Reply Report

http://www.wattpad.com/story/1300756-raven

Hi ya. Mine's only short, but wanna see if it'll make a good novel maybe in the future. Really appreciate if you could find the time to check it out :)

Reply Report

Take a look?

http://www.wattpad.com/4236147-tea-time-prolouge

Ethel and Eli are twins on the brink of separation. While nearing the age seventeen Eli knows he is to be drafted into the Union Army and fight against his younger sibling, who ran away to join the Confederates. The only way the twins can hope to be together is if they take an invitation to work for the eccentric and strange Dr. Abner Edwards. Seems simple enough, right?

But Dr. Edwards has a secret, one that involves a world that might just live right beneath the ground, a negro who claims to have powers to see the unseen, and an exotic boy who claims to be from the future.

How will the twins survive with an angry mob running after Eli, odd creatures attacking the patients, a civil war of another world effecting their own, or troubles with the time-space continuum? Never mind that, it's time for tea.

Reply Report

The description needs critiquing as well, but here you go. Description: It happened two years ago. It destroyed everything. My family. My friends. My life. I had to restart, we all had to Link: http://www.wattpad.com/story/1342098-surviving-an-apocalypse-the-basics

Reply Report

@Storm0Wolf Please look over at my 17th chapter. :D

http://www.wattpad.com/story/1251791-the-lost-dreamer-watty-awards-2012

When fifteen-year-old Eden Paris discovers that not only is she not human but rather, a descendant of gods and angels, a demiangel, she is plunged into the world of the Ethereal Society, a society of the higher half-bloods. Eden is determined to sever herself from the world she thought only existed in books and fairytales but it seems that the only way to get out of the mess her Scent caused her was to tie herself to the handsome yet intolerable and haughty young William Sage as his Consor, a warrior sworn by blood and soul to protect his other to death.

Something stirs outside of the protective barrier of the Sanctuary. More and more demiangels have been reported kidnapped and hadn't been discovered nor heard from anyone. When Eden learns that her best friend is in grave danger, she is drawn deeper into the secrets of the Hidden World.

In this adventure packed novel, Eden learns that some things are rather much better off hidden under the covers of her books.

Reply Report

Thank you in advance. ^_^

Red

I've made mistakes and burned far more than my fair share of bridges. Loved ones are dead. Friends are gone. All I've got left is a piece of an impossible truth, and even that might be a lie. My only question? If you had nothing left to lose, would you fight for something to have?

Reply Report

http://www.wattpad.com/story/1418097-a-man-of-dragons

In the age where humans and dragons are one, in the age where fire walks the streets, a girl falls in love with a man who is not her husband. In the age where rules were not made to be broken, this love brings them more trouble than they ever anticipated

Nothing specific, but I think I might have made a few errors here and there, always good to have a third person go over it.

Thank you, I do hope you will critique mine if you ever have the time! :)

Reply Report