Professional, Honest Critiquing. ~*OPEN*~

Please check out my writing. However it is a poem so maybe you could critique it, and tell me what you think. Thanks :) ~Ari

http://www.wattpad.com/4378964-the-emptiness-poem

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http://www.wattpad.com/story/1251791-the-lost-dreamer

When fifteen-year-old Eden Paris discovers that not only is she not human but rather, a descendant of gods and angels, a demiangel, she is plunged into the world of the Ethereal Society, a society of the higher half-bloods. Eden is determined to sever herself from the world she thought only existed in books and fairytales but it seems that the only way to get out of the mess her Scent caused her was to tie herself to the handsome yet intolerable and haughty young William Sage as his Consor, a warrior sworn by blood and soul to protect his other to death. Something stirs outside of the protective barrier of the Sanctuary. More and more demiangels have been reported kidnapped and hadn't been discovered nor heard from anyone. When Eden learns that her best friend is in grave danger, she is drawn deeper into the secrets of the Hidden World. In this adventure packed novel, Eden learns that some things are rather much better off hidden under the covers of her books.

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Here's the info and I hope you enjoy!

Click 2 Read!

Sherrion is Daddy’s little mutant, always has been and always will be. When Daddy dies, what does the little girl do? When left with no one, who does she turn to? In a world riddled with powerful, transformed super humans and corrupted societies full of hate, how does she handle it? As Sherrion will find out very early in her existence, life isn’t all fun and games. Being Daddy’s little mutant isn’t easy, especially when Daddy is in your head.

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@Rosepetal

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Hi I have had my story up for 3 weeks now and i post every Sunday I'm getting very little readers and no feedback will you take a look? http://www.wattpad.com/story/1242861-the-battle-of-heros

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Helloo!

I hope you enjoy this :) I would really appreciate some criticism, eheh.

Title: A Cure for the Blind

Genre: Mystery-Suspense/Romance

Description: If revenge is what you look for, please be wary of the path you choose, for it is a liar and cold and evil and more than gain, you will surely lose. If revenge is all you seek for, be well aware of its hidden cost, for it is treacherous, a wicked cheater, before you win, you already lost. If what you wish for is revenge, if its false promise is all you need, you'll be blind, your eyes will rotten, you'll be damned, a fool indeed. If revenge is the path you follow, you will pay with blood and bone. You will kill and celebrate your death, for all your sanity will soon be gone. If you ever carry this awful curse, then you're doomed and your soul abducted. Revenge is hungry and the blind hunter will more than often become the hunted.

Link: http://www.wattpad.com/story/914558-a-cure-for-the-blind

Thanks!*

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@Rosepetal Love, Life and Secret Agents, please?

Genre: Teen Fiction/Romance/Suspense/Well, it’s about spies so …

Lexie Hillshire has been living an average teenage life, complete with an amazing best friend and a major crush on a perfect guy. That is ... until her twin Eva drops in for a visit.

Eva is flamboyant, charming, daring and most importantly, a highly trained assassin that can kill in the blink of an eye. Now, doesn't everyone love a girl that can spy hard and party harder?

Well ... except for Lexie's best friend James. James is the definition of the knight in shining armour every girl dreams about, yet Eva manages to bring out his dark side that might just be a little too dark to be ignored.

Read on as one bullet turns everyone's life upside down, thrusting Lexie into a world of deceit, danger and death and putting her life in the hands of her sinfully sexy crush, who might have more than a few skeletons hidden in his closet. Literally.

---------------------------------

Thanks either way!

~V

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Loving You (http://www.wattpad.com/story/1130021-loving-you-watty-awards-2012)

Aspen Springs has always found herself in the midst of trouble. With little to no supervision as a kid, she was known as the wild child... that is until she met Casper Hall: boy musical prodigy. His eccentric parents took her in and treated her as part of the family when she needed them most.

While trapped between the struggles of their two families, Aspen and Casper consistently found peace and joy in their music. They thought that it would cure everything, but they learned the hard way, that they were seriously mistaken.

After Aspen's older brother mysteriously dies, Aspen drags Casper into an adventure neither could refuse. Unfortunately, their adventure ends in disaster on one horrible night, leaving Casper remembering everyone except his once beloved Aspen Springs. No longer being able to handle the stress of life, Aspen leaves the city, Casper, and her family, in search of the answers she so desperately needs, ending up in the town where it all began. Once there, she builds a new life for herself, but she can never really escape the life she left, because her past won't let her go. And she can't let go either.

When Casper begins to force his way back into her life three years later, Aspen realizes if she's ever going to be able to get him to remember her again, she has to solve the mystery behind her brother's death, and figure out the reasons for Casper's strange amnesia; what really happened that night? When her new life and old life collide in a mix of mystery, music, love, and murder, Aspen discovers that loving him is the easiest part... it's everything else she's having trouble with.

Thank you so much!!!!

~Rosebud

By the way, I really like your username. :)

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http://www.wattpad.com/story/1320302-once-upon-a-twisted-fate

Eryn's ultimate goal was to look good for prom. When she didn't have the money to buy the dress she wanted, she was forced to take up a part time job at a cafe. That was when she met Dillan, a self-centered, rich brat, who's only working there for his father's sake. When Eryn and Dillan's personalities collide, all they wanted was to stay as far away from each other as possible. Little did they know, over time, they would start to feel otherwise.

I would love it if you'd give some constructive criticism on this :)

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http://www.wattpad.com/story/1225109-better-than-you

THANK YOU O SO MUCH O !

Sorry, that's just my weird way of saying thanks right now :D

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Could you edit mine please? I need the hard feedback!

Story Title: Off To Find The Past http://www.wattpad.com/4464237-off-to-find-the-past-ch-1

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Here's mine.

http://www.wattpad.com/4361432-mustard-chapter-01

Allison's boyfriend, Daniel, is simply perfect in every sense. Charming, attractive, and intelligent to the bone. So why the heck is she falling for Ethan, his annoying, rude best friend? It's simple, really. Because of mustard.

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@Rosepetal

I would love some feedback :)

http://www.wattpad.com/3756996-what-we-were-%7E-a-short-story

Thanks!

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I'd appreciate your feedback! Thanks! http://www.wattpad.com/story/305138-the-bleeding-heart

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http://www.wattpad.com/4507270-insanity%27s-song

"The mind is such a fragile thing."

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Would you read mine? I love writing this story, but it barely has any reads, and I'm not sure if I'm going to keep it up. Please be honest with your feedback, and thank you so much! (Only five short chapters)

http://www.wattpad.com/story/1075018-life-one-and-life-two

If you want, you can critique this story, but I understand if you're behind! ;)

http://www.wattpad.com/story/1102766-dear-jeremy

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http://www.wattpad.com/story/1321947-spotlight

Thank-you

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@Rosepetal http://www.wattpad.com/story/1220867-tag-you%27re-it-watty-awards-2012 Thanks.

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@Rosepetal Hi could you please read a chapter of Midnight Disaster? Thank you!

http://www.wattpad.com/story/1205946-midnight-disaster

Sidenote: This is not an ET story people will die!! Cameron and Maya are great friends (sometimes borderline dating) looking for something to keep them entertained in their annual summer adventure. Little do they know it comes to them in the form of an abandoned alien. At first their main concern is keeping him hidden from the public and their friends until they realize that something is really wrong with the alien. On the night of the full moon they discover their true problem. Their hometown is in grave danger.

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@Rosepetal My stories High school of the dead and The white woman :D

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Title: Lost to Lovely

http://www.wattpad.com/story/954882-lost-to-lovely

"[Trigger warning: boyxboy] Two boys. Different problems. One solution. Run.

Theo Jennings in just another lowly hybrid. After months of abuse and torment from his previous owner he's found himself back at the pound. When a sleazy bum opts to adopt him, Theo hasn't the slightest clue his life is about to make a turn for the worse. Jacques Monroe is a pampered rich kid. His father is strict and abusive. When one day his father does something that will make Jacques never look at him the same way again, Jacques makes a snap decision. With a slip of fate and a risky decision, the two boys meet. Their friendship is grand, maybe even a little bit more. But with ghosts of their past on their tail and the cruel eyes of society judging their every move, the boy's relationship is threatened. Will their relationship survive? Or better yet, will they?"

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http://www.wattpad.com/3796579-love-letters

J: I've been writing letters to a complete stranger and he's been writing back. Maybe a pen pal wouldn't be such a bad idea after all, my only friend has moved away and out of contact and I can't live without talking to someone, even if we've got no idea who we are to each other.

T: When I first read her letter, I found it amusing. I mean, who even wrote letters anymore? But then it dawned on me, she was obviously writing to someone who meant a lot to her so I replied. I had no idea that someday, she'd mean a lot to me too

Let me know what you think ^_^

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@Rosepetal Hey there. :) If you still have time, I'd like you to read my work. :) Hopefully you read at least past the first chapter, then if you think that the story is interesting enough, it's up to you if you want to read more. :) Here's the link. :) http://www.wattpad.com/story/443005-soul-of-the-phoenix Thanks in advance. :D

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@Rosepetal Hey hope you enjoy my co-write :D Thank you in advance! :D

http://www.wattpad.com/story/673631-the-urbem-completed

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@rosepetal

2 1/2 Broken Promises- When you have a life-shortening condition it’s hard. When the person closest to you is dying because they have a life-shortening disease it’s even harder. (it's a one-shot)

http://www.wattpad.com/4604122-revenge-kills-2-1-2-broken-promises

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