Honest critiques. ( For the brave only) and these critiques are also FREE!!!

A few rules.

1) You must be brave. If I like a story, I will praise it. If I don't... well... expect some harsh, but constructive, criticism.

2) ABSOLUTELY NO FAN-FICS, ROMANCE VAMPIRE/WEREWOLF STORIES. If it is a horror vampire story/ werewolf story, I will read it. HORROR.

I am fine with the following genres. Romance, humor, sci-fi, fantasy, teen-fiction, action, mystery, thriller, and HORROR. If you have a horror story please put it down. I am in desperate need of one.

3) Please put the genre of your book, a link, how many chapters you want me to read ,and a description. Also to know that you read this entire post, please put down your favorite ice cream flavor.

Reply Report

@SadieLayli1232 http://www.wattpad.com/story/1159890-the-vigilante action/mystery suspense umm there's only one chapter so I guess one Stephen Rogers light blue button down, blue tie, kaki pants, thick black glasses, and a friendly smile is a math teacher by day. But at night he takes of his glasses, and turns into Antonio Ricci a vigilante searching for vengeance.

hehe keep in mind that this is my first time writing third person in a long time, and I am well aware that I have some grammatical errors.. so don't tell me about those but anything else you think I could do to improve my writing

hmm also would you mind giving my friend's story a critique http://www.wattpad.com/story/425868-alise paranormal romance an 'ugly' girl with no connections to the outside world puts herself on a boat leading towards an adventure that will changer her life and her view of the world. chapters: all

thanks she will really appreciate it and so will I :D

hmm favorite ice cream flavor gah that's such a hard question, why such a hard question.. I do love coffee ice cream and then putting nutella on top of it :)

Reply Report

http://www.wattpad.com/story/1313483-a-truly-dark-obsessio

Please help me out :) just starting want to know if I should bother finishing

Reply Report

When Realms Collide

Fantasy

Link: http://www.wattpad.com/story/1232793-when-realms-collide

Description: It’s destiny. Destiny, in the Faerie realm, is viewed as an unchangeable force that you have no control over. A one-way path. Simple. Once your destiny is decided, it can never be altered, or so the tales say. However, Aria and Phoebe’s lives have proved otherwise. If “destiny” had its way, they would both be dead. They were never supposed to meet as it is, much less become anything close to friends. Yet, they did. A faerie and a human, defying destiny and all rules about it. Or so it seems. Perhaps destiny has a few more tricks up its sleeve that they should worry about. Too bad they won’t have enough time to worry, as saving two realms can take up a great amount of time. Especially when both realms seem to be broken beyond repair. ~ Join Aria, Phoebe, and Corbin on their fatal quest to save a realm or two, and save themselves as well.

I also happen to love Red Velvet ice cream :3 One chapter would be great to review. Thanks!

Reply Report

Vanilla Teen Romance/Comedy Read as many as you like? :P

Ever had Ramen Noodles for an entire month? Lilly Fenster has and she's tired of it. Which is why she ends up managing the fashion industry's hottest Brazilian model. Lucky her right? Not really. Lilly can't stand the intolerable Joshua Lachowski . Heck, she can't even pronounce his last name much less manage his professional life. What happens when the nerd enters the fashion world and meets the biggest jerk imaginable? Mayhem, quesadillas, and love. That's what.

http://www.wattpad.com/story/1285863-sugar-babe

@SadieLayli1232

Reply Report

@SadieLayli1232 http:/www.wattpad.com/story/1041479-unhinged Butterpecan

Read as much as you want.

#7 Thriller

Reply Report

Genre: Fantasy/Other

http://www.wattpad.com/story/1299116-chosen

Why were soldiers in Isolde? The city was quiet, no threat to the king. It provided its own resources and had its own protection. Olek could find no reason for them to be stationed there, not a single one. Without warning, his cheeks took on a bloodless pallor, and he grasped the fact that things were different in his hometown. He watched as one soldier's eyes met his own, contorting into a hateful glare. What had happened since he left?

Oh, does that work for the description? If not, I can change it. :D

And I really like lime sherbet.. Yum, yum, yum.

Thank you for your time. :D I would appreciate a critique on the third chapter, if nothing else (That's as far as it goes; just ignore "chapter four"). Thank you! And if you could PM me the review, that would be great, but if not, that's fine too. :)

Oh, and sorry it's not a horror. :(

Reply Report

It's fantasy, science fiction, paranormal, action, historical fiction, and adventure. Though it's still kind of early in the story, all those genres are not used yet. Can you read the first four parts?...if that's fine with you. If you really hate the story you can stop atfer the prolouge. Oh, and I like strawberry~

http://www.wattpad.com/4236147-tea-time-prolouge

Ethel and Eli are twins on the brink of separation. While nearing the age seventeen Eli knows he is to be drafted into the Union Army and fight against his younger sibling, who ran away to join the Confederates. The only way the twins can hope to be together is if they take an invitation to work for the eccentric and strange Dr. Abner Edwards. Seems simple enough, right?

But Dr. Edwards has a secret, one that involves a world that might just live right beneath the ground, a negro who claims to have powers to see the unseen, and an exotic boy who claims to be from the future.

How will the twins survive with an angry mob running after Eli, odd creatures attacking the patients, a civil war of another world effecting their own, or troubles with the time-space continuum? Never mind that, it's time for tea.

Reply Report

Hey could you maybe critique my prologue to my story, it'll help me out a lot! Thanks! http://www.wattpad.com/mystories

Reply Report

@SadieLayli1232

My favorite ice cream: Mint Chocolate Chip!!

The Masters: Teen Fiction/ Romance

There are only two chapters so far, so if you could read both that would be great! Thanks!

http://www.wattpad.com/story/1285840-the-masters

Catherine West has always hated the cliche nature of her high school, but living in a small town doesn't give her a chance of seeing something new. Her high school Carmendale-Demings High School, is run by an elite group of guys called The Masters. During Catherine's sophomore year, Turner Platt, the the leader of The Masters, takes a special interest in her and she falls in love with the biggest player of them all. But soon she'll learn that even in a small town, not everything is black and white. Her best friend Jeffery Price, will be initiated into the group and the two will learn the corrupt nature of the The Masters. But with a simple kiss from Turner, Cat will go on a journey where she learns about her own past and come to terms with a secret not even she could remembers...

Reply Report

@SadieLayli1232 HORROR, my friend, HORROR. I love horror, lmao:D Also, my favourite ice cream flavour is chocolate:D The Magnums are a wonderful invention.

Link: http://www.wattpad.com/story/465794-screams-in-the-wind-currently-editing

Genre: Horror/Paranormal. Humour is involved too(:

Chapters: Well, since I'm editing it'd be good if you could read up to the finished chapters I suppose - which is only the prologue, chapter one and chapter two - but it's completely up to you!(:

Description:

Five boys decide to spend a night in their towns 'allegedly' haunted woods, where a mass murder of eighteen girls happened thirty-three years ago. Then again, all towns have legends and that's just what it is, right? But what if things begin to happen that start to make you think, maybe, the haunting isn't just a tale? How can you be sure that it's not just your mind playing tricks on you, though? You know how they say that the minds a powerful thing. Maybe it's just your imagination turning against you and you find yourself slowly losing your sanity. You think it's a nightmare and you pray to wake up, but maybe waking up isn't all you'd hoped it to be.

Cheers very much!

Reply Report

Hello. This is a mystery thriller bordering on the brink of horror. It's call Stockholm. Cherrie Lockhart (homophonic to Sherlock), who finds herself kidnapped and traped in an abandon mansion, needs to escape before all the residents living inside, among them is her captor, makes her do the unthinkable, stay. There are many possible suspects added to the mix, a ton of crazy people, and scary rooms. I hope it also funny, but that just asking for too much. http://www.wattpad.com/story/1305574-chapter-one-the-white-piece-who-claims-beginnings There's only one chapter and I need to know if it's worth persuing to write more chapters. Good ice cream is good and that's every ice cream to me. Well, there are some truely horrendous flavors that shouls have never been concieved. Onion? Really?

Reply Report

<3Heavenly Hash!

Title: V.O.I.C.E

Summary: Welcome to Kildare Academy’s VOICE program! Where lines are crossed, and love defies all odds. Kildare Academy’s VOICE program just got a lot more interesting. When Evalyn meets Carter she doesn't realise how much he would change her life. By the time Evalyn realises she is in love with Carter he is one step away from being her step brother. Then Carter drops the cursed L-bomb on her, what else could go wrong, she doesn't love the guy she is dating, she loves her almost step brother, who loves her but is dating somebody else.

Link: http://www.wattpad.com/story/1063060-v-o-i-c-e

Read however many chapters you want to do, I know that VOICE isn't everybodies cu of tea :)

Reply Report

@SadieLayli1232 Awful nice of you to offer. Always up for a critique with some teeth! My current WIP is here:

http://www.wattpad.com/story/1100835-memoirs-of-a-fallen-god

Lemme have it! :)

Reply Report

@SadieLayli1232 http://www.wattpad.com/story/1304764-these-roses-of-mine

Taylor Howle once lost her lover to another woman, now she doesn't want to lose her only child as well. James Murray is the father to Taylor's child, but he doesn't want anything to do with it until an accident happens and he loses everything. Now he has no family to go to, no children and no wife. He wants to have a family again, and his only choice is Taylor and their child. Will Taylor allow James in her life? Will she let him in after what he said? Will she let him be the father to Sara?

Genre(s): Romance, Non-teen fiction

You won't be reading about high school girls and jocks in this one. This story is based on a relationship between two adults. I only have the prologue up now so just read it. Also, my favourite flavour of Ice cream is Vanilla. And my second favourite is Strawberry :D

Reply Report

@SadieLayli1232

I have a new zombie story I'm working on that I've labeled "horror," but I don't know if it's the kind of horror you're looking for. You can check it out here: http://www.wattpad.com/story/1311661-post-apocalyptic-barbie (Short Story/Horror. After cowering in fear from his undead prom date, Mark's life is saved by a young crowbar-toting ballerina girl who calls herself "Barbie." Together, they work to survive the zombie apocalypse, armed with little more than determination and the vast amount of knowledge gained from zombie movies.)

Otherwise, I'd really enjoy some feedback on this: http://www.wattpad.com/story/949580-fired (Fantasy/Short Story: A collection of short stories about Death and his many misadventures.)

No rush, just whenever you find the time. Thanks! Also, I'm a simple guy, so vanilla ice cream is where it's at.

Reply Report

Cookie dough!! Knowing You're There: http://www.wattpad.com/story/1025369-knowing-you%27re-there Lia is the girl that everyone knows at school: she's the blind girl that always has her dog at her side. Of course, like everyone, Lia dreams of finding love. When ages been rejected her whole life because of being unable to see, she doesn't belive it when Kurt comes along, telling her she's beautiful. This is the story of two people that show, love ISN'T blind.

Reply Report

.

Reply Report

@SadieLayli1232 This is mine and my favorite is chocolate :)

Title: Midnight Disaster

Genre: Horror

http://www.wattpad.com/story/1205946-midnight-disaster

Sidenote: This is not an ET story people will die!! Cameron and Maya are great friends (sometimes borderline dating) looking for something to keep them entertained in their annual summer adventure. Little do they know it comes to them in the form of an abandoned alien. At first their main concern is keeping him hidden from the public and their friends until they realize that something is really wrong with the alien. On the night of the full moon they discover their true problem. Their hometown is in grave danger.

Reply Report

Hey! I need a critique. All I have done is the prologue and it's about a page or two so it's rather short and an easy read!:)

Um it's paranormal but it's sort of horror too I guess. Don't worry there aren't vampires or werewolves. It's about demons. The girl in the story dies from a murder and she before she is able to reach heaven Satan offers her a deal. Become one of the sins listed in the bible and she will be able to come back to life on Earth. She agrees because she has to be there for her little brother to protect him.

I haven't published it yet because I wanted someone's opinion so if I can email you that'd be awesome! Thanks;)

Reply Report

Genre: Fantasy, Adventure, Romance?

You can read how much you want just enjoy the stuff. :D

Vanilla but I love strawberry too. :/ They're both my favorite. :))

http://www.wattpad.com/story/1251791-the-lost-dreamer

When fifteen-year-old Eden Paris discovers that not only is she not human but rather, a descendant of gods and angels, a demiangel, she is plunged into the world of the Ethereal Society, a society of the higher half-bloods. Eden is determined to sever herself from the world she thought only existed in books and fairytales but it seems that the only way to get out of the mess her Scent caused her was to tie herself to the handsome yet intolerable and haughty young William Sage as his Consor, a warrior sworn by blood and soul to protect his other to death. Something stirs outside of the protective barrier of the Sanctuary. More and more demiangels have been reported kidnapped and hadn't been discovered nor heard from anyone. When Eden learns that her best friend is in grave danger, she is drawn deeper into the secrets of the Hidden World. In this adventure packed novel, Eden learns that some things are rather much better off hidden under the covers of her books.

Reply Report

@SadieLayli1232

Fantasy

http://www.wattpad.com/story/757578-sentinel

There's ~15 parts, Pretty much like everyone else, read as much as you'd like to, although if you can make it up to about chapter 5 that'd be awesome. I think I mainly need help on character development and how they come across to the reader. Not entirely sure, but be as brutal and mean as you like. It's the only way I'll get better. ^.^

Corruption has ripped through the land; It has taken once pure souls and twisted them into something dark and malevolent - Demons.

When Skye, a young elf, is captured by the corrupted rebel forces that run rampant in the land, her life takes a dangerous turn. Drawn into battles centuries old against an immortal evil, she finds herself part of a dying order, the Sentinels, elves and humans who have the ability to wield magic.

With the help of the Silverborn and a woman trapped in a cell, she must uncover secrets at the heart of magic itself if she is to survive and save the land from eternal chaos.

Cookies and cream is probably my favourite. I love the stuff.

Reply Report

Hi! Please critique my story.. I'm in AP English Courses and I need to know what level my writing is in.. Thanks for taking the time! Genre: Historical Fiction and -soon-to-be- Romance Link: http://www.wattpad.com/3631569-a-word-of-advice Chapters: I only wrote two plus the Into.. Please read them all if you are able to Description: Giovanna has lived in the streets all through her life, living just out of pity and charities. One day a noble man comes upon her and not too long after, they start a life together. Giovanna has always had her doubts about the real reason he decided to take her in, and no one gives into telling her the truth. She ignores it after sometime, not knowing that such a simple thing could be life-changing. Will they live happily ever after. or will something interfere with their happiness, separating them forever? Favorite Ice-Cream flavor: COCONUT YUMNESS!! :D

Reply Report

@SadieLayli1232 I totally love cookie dough ice cream xD

Reply Report

action/fantasy 3 chapters 12 teens or given the power of fate its self and then set at each others throats while a man called the seer sits behind them watching them carve a path of death out of the earth or will they be able to work together and save the world from the fate of the seer are will Mikes anger and lust for revenge leave the three most beautiful cites in the world in ruins.

http://www.wattpad.com/story/1242861-the-battle-of-heros

Hi I have had my story up for 3 weeks now and i post every Sunday I'm getting very little readers and no feedback will you take a look? P.S strawberry icecream

Reply Report