Need a critique? I'll do it for free!
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PinkAngel22
Joined: 2012-03-25Posts: 2761 year ago@ForgiveForget l kind of find it confusing when you switch the POVs so much. you have a great writing style and l really like your story. keep writing! :D
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IkhtiyarRasulBhuiyan
Joined: 2012-04-27Posts: 621 year ago
http://www.wattpad.com/story/1298403-the-painseekers
Since the creation of man they have fought. Since the creation of Earth they have hated each other, have tried to destroy each other. Even now they wage war; like tireless, ceaseless machines programmed with the obsession of achieving absolute supremacy.
Aether and Orcus, known as Heaven and Hell to the mortals; are locked in an eternal battle. They fight over The Stranded- souls who have committed almost equal amounts of good and evil on Earth. In this epic battle; the war is waged mainly in between the Painseekers- the elite warriors of Orcus and by the Messiahs- their Aetheran counterparts as each side tries to break the timeless stalemate by collecting more and more Stranded.
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PinkAngel22Joined: 2012-03-25Posts: 2761 year ago
@LikkleMonstahhxX your cover is amazing and your title really caught my eye. it was very well writen and it stayed interesting. l like the story line! great job! one suggestion l have is to make your chapters shorter, break them down, find a cliffhanger and break it there, the large amount of pages might scare some of your readers away. othe than that great job! :D
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Meganamy
Joined: 2011-06-26Posts: 8141 year ago@PinkAngel22 thanks:')
http://www.wattpad.com/4128364-solo-chapter-1#!p=2
Do you know how it feels to be all alone in the world?Sienna does.Following a dreadful loss, Sienna gets to grip with who she really is. She’s the only way forward. She’s the only one who can accomplish this. But it’s not all that easy. And yes, love is involved.
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stillalonebymyself
Joined: 2010-12-11Posts: 361 year ago@PinkAngel22 Ahh thanks :)
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PinkAngel22Joined: 2012-03-25Posts: 2761 year ago
@RavenToMidnights great detail! your story is very interesting. your beginning didn't really interest me, but as l kept reading it got better. you're good at writing short stories great job! :D
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PinkAngel22Joined: 2012-03-25Posts: 2761 year ago
@nutterbutter l jumped right into chapter 7, but l plan to read more later! 10th paragraph ch7 pg2: the not three same page 11th paragraph: go to or attend not go at. you have a lot of dialogue so don't forget to add some detail on what they're doing. other than that great job! :D
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PinkAngel22Joined: 2012-03-25Posts: 2761 year ago
@pinkmarshmallow97 nice and short, thank you! it was a nice twist on Romeo and Juliet! to be continued..hope that's a promise :) l hope you got an A because this was awesome! l didn't see any spelling/grammar mistaks, great job! :D
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AlwaysBeHappyy
Joined: 2012-04-06Posts: 221 year agoWell this is my first story so I would like an opinion It's called Beautiful bombshell thaanks so much (:
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PinkAngel22Joined: 2012-03-25Posts: 2761 year ago
@Solipsist nice job with the details, like REALLY good job. l liked the first two chapters and l plan to keep reading :D keep it up!
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PinkAngel22Joined: 2012-03-25Posts: 2761 year ago
@ninabellaxo WOW that was awesome! you did a really good job of conveying how Alice was feeling. l really liked it and l didn't see any spelling/grammar mistakes, great job! this was AMAZING and l hope you write more :D
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iToldYouSo
Joined: 2010-08-15Posts: 6641 year ago -
twilightserieslover
Joined: 2012-05-05Posts: 2201 year ago -
AliasBlack
Joined: 2011-12-26Posts: 2991 year ago@PinkAngel22 Please critique mine !
"It's final. I'm running away. And I hope that they wont ever find me."
Natalie Primero is sick of her family. Of course, her family isn't the average kind. What with a hundred members living together in one roof, and a member controlling everything they did, it feels more like a mafia, and even more so whenever she remembers her family's dark secrets and operations.
So when Natalie runs away from her home to Miami, she couldn't be any happier. There she encounters surfers, rebel teens, perverts, gangs, and mysterious guitarists. But, the more she tries to evade her family, the more they seem to get closer to finding her.
And soon, she realizes that she is more like her family than she would have ever thought.
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Bloodismyhobby
Joined: 2012-04-20Posts: 51 year ago -
twilightseriesloverJoined: 2012-05-05Posts: 2201 year ago
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I_Am_Kibo
Joined: 2012-05-02Posts: 5231 year ago -
thebigdreamer
Joined: 2012-03-05Posts: 541 year ago@PinkAngel22 Thx, I´ll try not to switch the POV so much! :)
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Mickyandminnie
Joined: 2012-04-14Posts: 2231 year agohttp://www.wattpad.com/4146145-blood-bites plz read my story and tell me what u think i know theres lots of spelling mistakes i did it on my ipod (Btw im 11)
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Solipsist
Joined: 2010-04-03Posts: 1791 year ago@PinkAngel22 Thank you so much!!!! You've made my day :))
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_KeepCalmAndSailOn
Joined: 2012-03-21Posts: 131 year agohttp://www.wattpad.com/4467028-me-myself-and-my-lame-excuse-for-a-life hey 1st chapter so not sure :) please read and comment/publicise if u like????
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_Girlyy
Joined: 2011-04-29Posts: 291 year ago@PinkAngel22 be as honest as you can-Monstrosity: http://www.wattpad.com/3867734-monstrosity
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DealWithIt12
Joined: 2012-03-27Posts: 81 year agoI have two.
http://www.wattpad.com/4478635-broken-one-direction-fanfic?d=ud That's for Broken and http://www.wattpad.com/story/1136150-the-one-and-only That's for One and Only
I haven't written much so let me know. TANKS
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Luca-dorsi
Joined: 2011-08-07Posts: 221 year agohttp://www.wattpad.com/story/1313483-a-truly-dark-obsession
Just starting out would love some help, need to improve honest feed back is greatly appreciated :)
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Luca-dorsiJoined: 2011-08-07Posts: 221 year ago
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