Do you think your story is ready for submission to a publisher?


  • _ChloePxx
    _ChloePxx
    2 years ago

    @Ctyolene I'm 14 so no worry about a day job as of yet but that's an interesting fact. Can winning the lottery become a career? (Now that was a joke! And a very bad one.) =/ But thank you, again, for the advice. I'm definitely going to take it!

  • Ctyolene
    Ctyolene
    2 years ago

    @ChloePxx You're a 14 year old with a lot of promise. Keep writing, don't obsess too much about getting published. Most first books are not published. Even John Boyne (the Boy in the Striped Pajamas) who writes 10 or 12 drafts of every book, never managed to publish his first one.

    For now, write the storie you want to read. And later, you can go back and edit them into something you feel has a chance of selling. Remember that editing takes a lot longer then writing. I wrote my first novel in two months, but it needed a year of editing before it was fit to be published, and i was already a professional writer.

  • CaptainVonDelgo
    CaptainVonDelgo
    2 years ago

    @Ctyolene -Thank you for your help. I'm not sure how to change the beginning line so that it is not the beginning line because I don't know what to put there in its place. As for him not being able to breathe without a tube and therefor not needing to go to the bathroom, how is that? I don't know what a catheter is. And I'll break the first part into smaller parts so it is easier to read. How else would you hide yourself in a field of grass with open sky all around you and from things that would eat you alive?

  • Ctyolene
    Ctyolene
    2 years ago

    @CaptainVonDelgo You would open with "I tried to cough, but the tube in my throat stopped me" or something like that.

    He would still need to pee, but if he couldn't breath without a tube, there is no question of him getting up from his bed, complete with tubes and monitors and drips, and walking to the bathroom. They would put in a catheter, which is a small tube they thread up his urethra so all his pee goes into a bag. Yes, it's just as unpleasant as it sounds, but it's standard practise for patients who are bedbound.

    How can they put grass on their backs while they are moving? It would fall off. If the grass is long, they could crawl along through it, and wouldn't be visible to anything which was not directly overhead. But creatures that hunt by smell or hearing would still be able to find them.

  • CaptainVonDelgo
    CaptainVonDelgo
    2 years ago

    @Ctyolene -Hmm, right. I'll think of something along those lines.

    Well I'm not sure that he does need to breath with the tube.

    By tucking the grass into parts of their clothing. The grass isn't long enough for them to crawl through unnoticed by anything.

  • Ctyolene
    Ctyolene
    2 years ago

    @CaptainVonDelgo Better if he doesn't. If he's that bedbound, he's not going to jump out out of his bed.

    why not just run across the paddock? They're not that big.

  • CaptainVonDelgo
    CaptainVonDelgo
    2 years ago

    @Ctyolene -The paddock is not that big? Or the two guys aren't that big?

  • PokedByAWizard_
    PokedByAWizard_
    2 years ago

    @Ctyolene These stories aren't finished yet (I'm planning to finish them over the summer) but I'd like to know if they have a strong enough captivation and idea to become published at the point I'm at right now.

    http://www.wattpad.com/story/1240212-fading-howls

    http://www.wattpad.com/story/1233145-to-hell-with-popularity

    Thanks so much! xD

  • _itsyoungalfred
    _itsyoungalfred
    2 years ago

    Title: A Summer Song

    Plot: After the classes ended, a seventeen-year-old student named Belle Collins gone home from the city. One day, the Collins gone to the beach since its summer. When Belle tries to swim farther away, a huge wave hits her and caused her to drown. Luckily, a guy saved her. In the hospital, they found out that the guy's name is Eric. Days passed, Belle was sent into a music school to learn more how to play guitar and she found her crush at that school. In the end, they discovered that their father loves another girl and their mother has cancer. Before their mother dies, she ordered to her children to forgive their father and live with him peacefully. But they think it's too late and impossible. This is a story of forgiveness and second chances.

    Simply click the picture to read! :D

    Image and video hosting by TinyPic

  • Ctyolene
    Ctyolene
    2 years ago

    @CaptainVonDelgo By definition, a paddock is not that big. They can run.

  • Ctyolene
    Ctyolene
    2 years ago

    @itsyoungalfred I can tell just from the synopsis that you will not publish this book. There is no central conflict in this story. Stuff happens, but Belle does not make any decision or take any action that that changes the couse of the story.

    Also, the mother is dying of cancer and the father goes off with another woman? Presumably leaving Belle to to nurse her mother through her dying days? There aren't enough synonyms for scumbag in the English language. Why would the mother want the children to live with him?

    Even beyond that, the writing is not there. The story starts with the ultimate cliche, the heroine getting up, getting dressed and heading for a new life. Instant rejection.

    The first line has mistakes. Belle's face was caused by the party the night before? There are mixed tenses, and there are lines like "Belle walks out the apartment - her body is cheerful"

    I'm sorry, this will be rejected.

  • Ctyolene
    Ctyolene
    2 years ago

    @Poindexter I'd like to see a full synopsis of this, one that tells everything that happens. Otherwise you could have all sorts of plot holes that you won't see until it's too late to fix them.

    Write out the full synosis. It's a pain in the behind, but it's a valuable exercise.

    Name your characters. I hate stories about "the boy" and "the woman". I like the rotting corpses, but I'm having trouble visualising the fat hands and feet. Watch the teddy bear, they are comparatively modern.

    Whose point of view is that first scene? Every scene should be in someone's pov.

    How can you be dressed in a flashy matter? "where only there"?

    Learn how to punctuate dialogue and quotes.

    "Outside of on of the buildings"?

    Small black girls in 1862 did not have straight brown hair. This was pre-relaxer.

    "the closet of twins"?

    Toddlers stamp their feet. Adults do not. And if one does, it doesn't make anyone fall over.

    You can't nearly startle someone. Either they are startled or they are not.

    What? The negros weren't fighting the war, or only as individuals. They didn't make up one side of it.

  • Ctyolene
    Ctyolene
    2 years ago

    @MykaelaDaniels Am I reading this right? Fading Howls is a series of werewolves reciting poems to each other?

    You know, you might have done the impossible and come up with a truly original concept. Not one that I can see ever being published, but definitely unique.

    And blank verse about math class? I don't know what to say.

  • awesome4evah
    awesome4evah
    2 years ago

    If you're still doing this, I have a story, that I'm working on (it's not posted on Wattpad, though) and I was wondering if you could possibly critique the summary?;;

    ~

    Rashel, Cass, Brin and Ryan haven’t seen each other for years. They may all be deadly, but it looks like that’s all they have in common now.

    Regardless, they’re going to have to find a way to work together on this mission turned wild treasure hunt, because if they don’t, it means death- and not only their own.

    Rashel- Armed with sarcastic comments, deadly knives, quick thinking and a sharp wit- she’s ready for anything. But she’s always had her sister, Jo to pull her out of trouble. Now Jo’s the one stuck in a deadly situation, and this time, Rashel might have to do the saving.

    Cass- She’s been training almost all her life. She knows how to wield a gun, set a trap and most importantly, keep a secret. She’s always been good, but this time, even with so much training and a steel core of determination, something might slip.

    Brin- People say he shouldn’t be a spy. They say he’s too vengeful, too impulsive. Even with his knowledge and slight ruthlessness, they still doubt his abilities. This new mission is his chance to prove himself. A new ally pops up, one he thought was worthless, but now they’re turning out to be more useful than he thought…

    Ryan- With his resources and intelligence, he’s one of the best. He’s never screwed up, never let his guard down. He’s always been cautious and distant. But this mission will be his hardest yet. Because going on a mission with his old friends is going to make it difficult to maintain a distance.

    The fate of their agencies rests completely in their hands. The stakes grow higher with their every move. And when things start slipping and mistakes start appearing more and more often, they’re all forced to consider if being a spy, is really meant for any of them.

    ~

    Thanks! :)

  • Ctyolene
    Ctyolene
    2 years ago

    @awesome4evah I love critiqueing synopses. My speciality is the structural stuff, not typos and grammar.

    This is a good start, but it's not enough. Who is the main character? You can have four strong characters, but there should be one person that the story is really about, whose actions drive the plot.

    What is the background? Where and when is this set? In the past, modern America, the Middle East, Future earth, an alien planet?

    What ages are your characters? Why are the spies?

    And of course, the ultimate question, what is this mission? Why are they doing it? What is at stake? What is the conflict? What is the penalty for failure? Who are the bad guys?

  • Poindexter
    Poindexter
    2 years ago

    @Ctyolene Can I pirvate message it to you? There's just a lot and I don't want to fill up too much space.

  • PokedByAWizard_
    PokedByAWizard_
    2 years ago

    @Ctyolene Uhhh....they're not werewolves. They're real wolves. I've got a whole storyline going on too.....46 chapters written that have not yet been uploaded but thanks for the feedback...

  • _Tiye13
    _Tiye13
    2 years ago

    @Ctyolene

    http://www.wattpad.com/story/962211-little-n-large-watty-awards-2012

    Nicole Crystal Welsh is starting her sophomore year at her California performing Arts school with the best social status possible- a floater. Someone popular enough to hang with the popular crowd yet still have the ability to sit with newbies or freshmen. In a place where looks are everything Nicole is beyond satisfied with her position when the inevitable happens- girl meets boy. Floaters are usually loners but Nicole is popular enough to make it work, that's not the issue. The problem is Caleb is a whopping 5'6 and Nicole is 6'1. In a place where looks are everything Nicole must find the strength to break the cookie cutter mold or lose everything she's ever worked for with a few bumps along the way.

  • Ctyolene
    Ctyolene
    2 years ago

    @Tiye13 That's the conflict? She's taller than the guy? You don't seriously think you can build a novel around that? At 6'1", she's taller than 90% of the guys she meets, including all the millionaires. You need a lot more than that for a story that people will pay money to read.

    Bear in mind, the average reader doesn't have a lot of sympathy for drop dead beautiful girls with perfect lives.

  • _Tiye13
    _Tiye13
    2 years ago

    @Ctyolene I'm not planning on selling this story. That's kinda why its on wattpad......I just wanted a critique.

  • _Tiye13
    _Tiye13
    2 years ago

    Also there's more to it then just that...

  • Ctyolene
    Ctyolene
    2 years ago

    @Tiye13 Then put it in the synopsis. Publishers ask for a synopsis for a reason. They want to know everything that happens in the story.

    The opening is a cliche. That nightmare and waking up in bed thing is one of the worst possible ways to start a story. Already, just from her morning routine, I don't like the heroine. The grammer needs work too.

    If you submitted this to a publisher, with or without the synopsis, it would be rejected.

    If you want to make it better, give her a secret, something she would die if anyone found out. And give her real problems. Perhaps she has Aspergers syndrome and can't make friends easily. Or OCD and can't use the bathrooms in the school without freaking out.

    And don't start it on her first day at school. Start where the problems start, which is probably when Caleb asks her out.

  • Ctyolene
    Ctyolene
    2 years ago

    @MykaelaDaniels Wolves that write poetry?

  • Poindexter
    Poindexter
    2 years ago

    @Ctyolene I'm pming my synopsis to you so I don't take up too much space. Is that fine with you?

  • Ctyolene
    Ctyolene
    2 years ago

    @Poindexter If you want. But it would be useful to put here, so people can see what a synosis is like.

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