So...you think that you can write a thriller?

@LaterRussia thank you lol!

Reply Report

Loved it! Haha, it was different compared to the rest of ours, which is always good. @Mystearica

Reply Report

Very Nice ^.^ @Mystearica

Reply Report

@Icycoldhot Thank you people always tell me my stories are different! @jamilla_ Thank you!

Reply Report

Don't die thread, don't die :(

Reply Report

Stooping, he opened the suitcase. My eyes widened at all the sharp silver utensils, tools I didn't rightly recognize.

A lump the size of a golf ball clogged my throat. Sweat pouring in buckets over my flushed skin. My respirations rapidly increasing as he laid one of the instruments on the floor. Something that resembled a giant pair of tweezers with serrated edges. God help me.

"Do you know that once a year a great winter falls over Bane?" he began. "Shocking I know. Well during that time, to keep warm and stay fashionable, some Demons wear Mink."

He withdrew another instrument of death, it softly clanked against the stone.

"-some Demons wear Lynx." he removed a bottle of clear liquid, it sloshed innocently in its plastic prison.

"But my wife..." he chuckled under his breath, taking hold of a pair of shears, the stainless blades reflecting my horror-stricken face.

"...prefers human."

______________________________________________

hehe, an excerpt from my story "Cruel Halo" >:)

Reply Report

I liked the monologue, very very creepy ^.^ @MoonWindStar

Reply Report

Excerpt from 'Once Upon A Time' - it was hard to find something of the plot on Wattpad so far which wasn't ingrained to the overall plot in which anybody would be able to understand from just reading a few sentences. Sorry - it's a little more than one paragraph!

-

Brows furrowed, she followed her ailing senses which would flicker and falter from the enhancer in her system burning out, but was lead to another occupied stall. This one yielded no luck either as she caught a bloated-looking businessman red in the act with his round, white pills lined up against the lid of the bathroom stool, most lying conspicuously cut up into a fine powder next to a singular blade of a razor. The man scooted to the very edges of the toilet to block sight of the pills as he flustered and swept them off the lid into his palm and tried to shove them into the murky water of the toilet bowl. She hissed profanity and slammed the battered door with such a force that it swung inwards and hit the fat junkie in the back.

She forced the last occupied stall at the very ends of the bathroom. The scent of blood here was unmistakeable, she had the right stall. It swung open a little too easily and immediately recoiled with a slight movement as the disturbed image burned into her retinas.

The familiar red, viscous fluid was pumping out of the man's throat with ease. The cut was singular, clean. A professional job. She stood there, stunned – but for just one second. She shook off lingering memories long buried away in the darkest recesses in her mind and ran over to the man. A feint gasp, followed by a weak, churning gurgle escaped from the man's eviscerated throat.

Leala had to act quick – she knew at the back of her mind he most likely wouldn't survive this, but if only...

She was faced with a dilemma. A clang startled her and her focus shifted upwards, to the ceiling above the stall. She spotted a vent opening, its protective grate undone. Did she help a dying man or catch a killer?

Reply Report

Oooooh, i like ^.^ Very well written! @ZKellerman

Reply Report

Only one thing was filling the man's mind. Hunger. He had a hunger for blood, a simple need the kill, to hear the strangled cries of his victims and see the luscious red fluid pouring out of the wound. He spotted a young woman taking a shortcut home. Short and brown haired, an easy kill. The man took quiet footsteps, quickly gaining on the girl as his heart raced in anticipation. With one swift movement he wrapped a hand around her waist and another around her mouth. Dragging her to the dark alley not ten feet away he drew the knife. Yes, this is what he wanted. This was the only way to satisfy his hunger. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Sort of something I just thought up on the spot. I do love thrillers though, they have much more potential to be original than romances. ;)

Reply Report

I love Thrillers as well.... your paragraph was nicely done ^_^ @1AnonymousGirl

Reply Report

Her breath came in short gasps as she raced around the rain sleeked corner. A sharp pain shot up her side with a vengeance and her bare feet scraped the now bloodied pavement. A silver glimmer sliced through the night sky and she pulled up short, heart pumping with adrenaline, palms sweaty, body shaking with terror.

Her eyes found the silver object, a recently sharpened machete, in the hands of her lover. He advanced towards her, knife tipped with crimson, dripping to the ground behind a sliced body of a young girl lying in the fetal position.

A malicious smile lit up her lover's features as he took another step forward, drew back his blade and cut her protesting fingers cleanly off. She let out a blood-curdling scream, tumbled backwards, and flew back around the corner, holding her hand close to her body.

Sorry, it was on the spot. It's not the best I can do but I hope it's thrilling enough, haha

Reply Report

Oh gosh I just saw this! Very very nice :) @23_cherry_23

Reply Report

@jamilla_ Haha, I was like, "What are you talking about?" Then saw that it was like 6 months ago, haha

Reply Report

LOL....sorry :) @23_cherry_23

Reply Report

He stared up at the man with the gun pointed between his eyes. the eyes were those of satan himself. Cold, dead pits that looked like black holes. He licked his lips like a snake. The victim shivered in fear as the armed man laughed evilly. The serial killer had come to his house in the middle of the night and beat him and his wife. The gun smacked his temple and his vision blurred and he screamed in pain. A quick flash and a knife gored his chest, tearing a hole through the shirt. Blood flowed through his wound like wine. the knife gashed him under the previous cut parallel to it. He gritted his teeth in pain as the river of blood poured down his torso. "Please end it!"

"Gladly" The knife was burrowed into his stomach and torqued left, then right. He screamed, his eyes were pinched shut as he could feel his stomach being torn open. Then his nightmare was ended by a bullet to the head. The killer slit the victim's throat and rushed out of the house in a dead sprint, away from the nearing police sirens.

How was that huh? @jamilla_

Reply Report

Pretty good :) But I think it would have been a bit more exciting if there was a tinge of unknown in it, like the guy waking up to the sounds of the serial killer breaking into his house and some sort of progression from there, but really good :) @xRockofAges

Reply Report

Read my Thriller/Horror story Unknown Fate?

http://www.wattpad.com/story/1590535-unknown-fate

Thanks! <3

Reply Report

You can not advertise your stories in any other club but the Share Your Story Club @kaylaa-jeann

Reply Report

 I crouch down and peer through the old-fashioned key hole. Legs shaking, I try to cover my gasp.  The knife glints blindingly, the small slit of moonlight shining in hitting it perfectly.  I squint my eye, trying to analyze what I'm seeing.  A dark figure crouched over a small body, and I hear grunts of effort as he repeatedly jabs the knife into the smaller persons gut. I gag, but can't tear my gaze from the sight. The blood, the moonlight, the small room. A perfect setting.  Finally, he pulls the knife away, a glow casting off from it.  In the knife I can see his face. Eyes, dead black. No hint of emotion. A dark scar leads up from the right corner of his lip, over the crest of his nose, to below his left eye. I had no desire to know how that happened.  Lifting up the knife, he looks at it with this almost fonding look in his eyes. He brings it up to his mouth, before slowly licking away the blood, as if it was an ice cream cone.  I slam my hand over my mouth, trying not to barf.  Slowly, mechanically, he turns his head, and looks right at the golden doorknob. Before smiling, and ever so slightly nodding his head toward the body.  Dropping my gaze off of him, I look at the body.  A strangled gasp escapes me.  "Rosalie-"

****** Well this probably wasn't very good. I just wrote it on the moment xD 

Reply Report

I'll try again, this time with my real stuff. This will be different in thrilling, not the OMG someone is going to kill me, but high paced and like what is going to happen next, like Jason Bourne if you've seen or read those. Excerpt from Enshroud- Chapter 17: For the Patriarch

Scorpio gave the go ahead and they stormed the chapel room. Multiple silenced rifles popped rounds across the room as they felled multiple Swiss guards standing post in the empty aisles. A few of them were lucky to get enough time to return fire but were instantly shot down. The room erupted in terrified shouts from the people in attendance. Scorpio’s eyes caught movement at the altar and saw a man being hauled away from the podium by three more guards. Two had a grip while another began to fire upon the Shroud crusaders with a SIG 550. The USP pistol in Scorpio’s possession fired three times, and all three guards dropped. “Grab the Pope!”

The elegantly dressed man was none other than the Pope of the Roman Catholic Church. He scurried on his back. Two crusaders reached him and moved him into the corner, rifles trained at his head. One looked at him for the word. He nodded and they riddled the Pope’s body with bullets. Blood pooled around his slumped body. The fear stricken church crowd stared at the armed Shroud men.

Scorpio looked down at a young woman, no older than twenty-five years old. He took his pistol and fired a round into her head. A cacophony of silenced gunfire chorused throughout the chapel. The mass of people were being fired upon. Pained and frightful shrieks rattled his ears. He fired his pistol until the magazine was empty. He popped the depleted one out and replaced it with a fresh one. The Shroud blocked the exits and fired at the waves of people looking for an escape.

Reply Report

I love this one. Only a paragraph but it was really intense. @jamilla_

Nice job. I liked this one too. How old was Rose? @_James6705

I loved this. Thrilling. :-) Is this a story you're already working on? If no, you should. I'd love to read more of it. @LaterRussia

Wow, intense! And, yikes. @_Fee1022

That was one pretty messed up guy. Not a bad paragraph at all. :) Made me want to know more about their back story. @Icycoldhot Wow, twisted character. Loved it. Fabulous job, though I'm a little confused by the end of it. You said that "But then her smirk became a frown when she noticed the same four people who moved out the way were the same ones who were missing." I'm confused. Isn't it obvious that the four people who left were the four who were missing?? Maybe it is just me. Awesome, anyhow. @Mystearica

Reply Report

>.< WOW. Haha, that was really creepy. @MoonWindStar

Cool story, good way to end it. @ZKellerman

Not too bad, pretty thrilling, a sickening MC. I liked the introduction to the characters, poor unsuspecting girl. :( Didn't even stand a chance. @1AnonymousGirl

Yikes. Nice job. @23_cherry_23

Reply Report

That was very Saltesque :) @xRockofAges

Reply Report

can i join?

He turned the corner and stopped dead. There was his stalker. The creature was like a silhouette, it stood in the middle of the alley, not moving, not breathing, just standing and looking at the man. The man stared straight back, not daring to look away. The man was breathing deeply but he didn’t notice. All he knew was that he could not escape the clutches of this creature. But how could it? How could it move faster than him? One moment it was on a balcony, getting out of a car and now in the centre of this ally. Only when the creature slowly began to move forward did the man return back to reality, turn on his heels and bolt the other way.

I can add more.

Reply Report