Need a critic? (closed :( )

@JordayDawn I'll read your story and get back to you as soon as i can

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Umm...do you also critique fanfictions??? If not then its alright!! :D

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If you critique poems could you help me out? The one titled 27. http://www.wattpad.com/6179806-in-a-world-full-of-noise-27

@PlayPauseRepeat

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@Aubrey_Mae absolutely!

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@chemicalnoise sure i'd love to read your poem!

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Lingering Limitlessly

Genre: Romance/Fantasy

Summary: Clover's life is full of trouble after she sees a troubling sight that sends her on an unexpected path. One filled with creatures she didn't think were real, all thanks to a little spirit named Crystal.

With a devilishly handsome new boss that seems to be scolding her left and right, a troublesome duo named Crystal and Liam to guide her in her journey of a world she shouldn't be able to see, and her dear pug Trudy; Clover stumbles to find her niche in the world.

Link:http://www.wattpad.com/story/624738-lingering-limitlessly

I don't have much up at all, but please don't let that deter you from giving it a read. If you like what I have up, please follow the story when I update it. Questions will be answered. ;)

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They're poems, I'd appreciate any feedback. http://www.wattpad.com/6308233-shadows-%26-angels-atty-awards-couplet-inescapable?d=ud

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http://www.wattpad.com/6305411-comforting-a-princess

that's the link...and if there are many errors, I'm sorry in advance

and I'll accept any of your critique even if it's harsh :)

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@BoyAndTuesday alrighty! i'll get right on it!

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@IzzyHeartsOreos sure i love poetry so i look forward to it!

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@Aubrey_Mae i promise to be honest! :)

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Thanks! @PlayPauseRepeat

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Awesome, thanks :D @PlayPauseRepeat

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@Aubrey_Mae no problem!

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@chemicalnoise your welcome!

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     BETTER WTH YOU  
  BY Danielle Raymond  
    Romance | Humor | Teen Fiction

  Sander Jones was once irrevocably in love with Amber Jensen, the most popular girl in the freshman year. A boy suffering through puberty, Sander could only dream he, with braces and thick, wide-rimmed chances, would ever have a chance with Amber. When an unexpected call results in Sander receiving a recording contract, Sander moves to Los Angeles, where he stays for five years, transforming himself, and his identity. 

  Five years later, Sander returns to his hometown for the summer, a changed man. Now he has charisma, good looks, and fame. As a bonus, Amber has taken an interest in Sander. But, his feelings have changed. Someone else has won his heart - but has he won hers?

Access Better With You by clicking this link.  
  Thanks!

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http://www.wattpad.com/story/1819605-the-prophecy-watty-awards-2012

The year is 2021 “The Prophecy” (By Jordan Bryant) takes place inside London, both above and below ground. Society has been firmly split between those who choose to live underground known as "Rodents" in the anarchic world of the Underground postings known as "The Network". However, they have to fight off constant attacks from the organized raiding parties and bandits, who reside above ground. Also, living primarily above ground is “The Collective”, who oppose the Network and are trying to destabilize them from the inside using spies and informants to undermine their operations. Religion plays a major part, with a twisted form of Christianity overwhelming the weak nation of new – world born people.

The main character "Lozada" lives at Square One, at a time when the civil war between the Collective and the Network is at its peak. “The Frenzy”, a rogue alliance loosely associated with the Collective Leader, kidnap Lozada and his men, they aim to sell him off as a slave or a bribe in a deal with the Collective. However, the Frenzy’s main intentions are to buy young exuberant scavengers, to maximise chances of locating “The Prophecy”.

All assemblages get mention of this Prophecy, an ancient remnant of ancestral knowledge created by “The Masters”; a book that would eventually steer civilisation from a crazy frantic world to a new phase of existence. Lozada and his carefully assigned organization made of him and three other audacious characters swiftly set off to find the book and create a divine group of rational people to prevent the prophecy going into insane minds such as the Frenzy. But as creatures lurk in the shadows and many extreme groups will murder any resistance, an anxious hunt for the so called prophecy begins which will test the boundaries of insanity, power, and corruption…

http://www.wattpad.com/story/1819605-the-prophecy-watty-awards-2012

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Please check out my short story...It's one of my first and it's not that good. It's definitely got some grammatical and spelling mistakes, but I'll work on that.

TITLE: Marilyn GENRE: Short Story

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Please give me feedback on my story :) I've only done one chapter, but I would love to know what people think of it.

http://www.wattpad.com/story/1835253-my-life-in-hayden

To most people, Hayden is just a beautiful, small, quiet beach town - home to the wealthy and powerful. To others, it's their home - a tangle of secrets, lies and suffocation. Life in Hayden has always been tough for Cat Bartaletti. After all, being at the bottom of the social ladder and being the victim of relentless torture by your classmates is never really easy sailing. But after a tragic incident involving her best - and only - friend, things go from bad to worse. A new school year without her best friend brings new things - mostly unwanted. The school's golden boy, Luke Carter has suddenly noticed that she exists, she's starting to like his best friend and there's a new girl who seems to be hiding more than one secret. This is their life in Hayden.

Thanks <3

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@TheSuperGirl your welcome!

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@JDmichael cool i'll read it as soon as i can!

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@nyzahida96 alright i'll start on it as soon as i can

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@TheGreatEscapeX ooh sounds quite interesting!

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@PlayPauseRepeat Haha thanks :D

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Hi! Do you do Fan Fictions?

THE UNRAVELING

The truth has been hidden from everyone for a long time. Conspiracies are flying everywhere, what is real and what is not? Harry is back at Hogwarts for his 5th year, all is not well. Everything is not what it seems. Somebody knows whats going on and they won't keep quiet any more. . .

http://www.wattpad.com/story/1854459-the-unraveling

Thanks!*

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