GOOD, HONEST CRITIQUES :) *OPEN FOR BUSINESS!*

Hey doll. Leave your story below and I will critique up to three of your chapters. (Because I know these threads can get really busy) All you have to do is tell me which ones. I am not harsh or blunt, but I am HONEST so try not to get upset. I look at four things in particular: plot, characters, grammar, and description.

I also ask that you leave a MEANINGFUL comment on my first TWO chapters of A Castle in California because I'm workin' very hard on it. Link's below. Thanks!

Oliver Ashford. Hope St. James.

They weren't friends.

They weren't lovers.

But towards the end, they kind of had something special.

Then she was gone.

She was gone and Oli couldn't sleep at night.

She was gone and no other girl could compare.

She was gone and everything was falling apart.

Oli had to bring her back.

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@heyitsholland Hey hun, I'd be more than happy to read and critique your prologue. Always looking for new things to read. :) I'll get right to it.

Here's a link to my story: http://www.wattpad.com/story/1753383-the-kissin%27-game

It's called The Kissin' Game, and is a romance/young adult novel. It only has four chapters at the moment, and the first three are the shortest (approximately one page each), so those first three would take the least amount of your time, if you don't mind. I've received some some critiques on it already, but the more the better. :)

Be as blunt and honest as you'd like. I'm off to go check out yours. :)

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@heyitsholland hey there =] I'm looking for honest opinions on this:

http://www.wattpad.com/story/1755402-land-of-the-strange-and-unusual

Chapter three and the prologue are what I'm most looking for opinions on (I'm unsure about how good they are) Chapters one and two, you can pick. Just saying now that chapters are long (6 pages is the longest so far).

If you could elaborate on my main character it would be a help, I'm trying to develop her at the moment =] thank you.

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@heyitsholland hey so i actually only have the one chapter right now, i wanted honest opinions before i continued thanks in advance

http://www.wattpad.com/6116716-akira-nymph-princess-protector-of-the-forest

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@heyitsholland Hey, could you comment the 1st chapter?? ;) http://www.wattpad.com/story/1702429-the-hidden-truth

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@heyitsholland could you critique my story? Blunt and honest feedback would be great!

http://www.wattpad.com/story/1485131-of-the-sea

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@heyitsholland Hello! So, basically I have a few stories, but I'd prefer you read either Briskeen or The Mind's Eye, since the other 2 aren't that great. Can't wait to read yours :) Please just be brutally honest and vote if ya like it :D

Briskeen (Sci-Fi/Action): http://www.wattpad.com/story/519105-briskeen The human brain. It is a remarkable machine, working every second of every day in a human being’s life. Ticking like clockwork, our brains regulate our thoughts, control our actions, and preform everything in between. Everything works in perfect unison. It makes every-day life possible. Although it is said that the average human being only uses 10% of their brainpower, that mere 10% is life as we know it. But what if that wonderful machine were to be tampered with? What if that machine were to be altered? My name is Constantia Jones and I am a government experiment. I am Briskeen.

The Mind's Eye (Fantasy/Watty's): http://www.wattpad.com/2782418-the-mind%27s-eye-watty-awards-2012-the-mind%27s-eye (NO DESCRIPTION)

In The Dead of Night (Thriller/Mystery): http://www.wattpad.com/5875349-in-the-dead-of-night (NO DESCRIPTION)

One Penny (Historical Fiction/Romance): http://www.wattpad.com/story/1359434-one-penny Isabella Ingram was not your typical, polite young woman. Vincent Bouclaire was your typical, smart ass young man. For the two of them to meet was impossible, a feat that was unheard of. They lived in two seperate worlds; her a girl with a rich, overprotective father and him an orphaned man just trying to make ends meet. However, when the Stock Market crashed on October 29th, 1929, their worlds were thrown upside down. Bouclaire was sent to a relief camp to find work in the cold lands of Nothern Canada and Ingram was sent away by her own father. Their lives became entangled, twisted together by hatred, poverty, resentment, and lust. But these two worlds were kept separated for a reason and the turbulence created by the clash won't fair well.

Thanks :D

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@heyitsholland Hey I would be glad to leave a comment for my three chapters of evo chonicles if you don't mind. am off to yours

http://www.wattpad.com/story/1683716-evolution-chronicles-chronicle-1-out-of-control

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http://www.wattpad.com/story/853975-2313-a-d

The story is 2313 A.D.

The year is 2313 A.D. and 14-year-old Avery Schultz has escaped the war-stricken United States for a new life in Germany. Everything seems safe for now, but can young Avery learn to cope with the memories she's tried so hard to forget? Or can some thing's be too traumatizing to leave behind? Meanwhile, the Prirodan Military reigns control over half the world, terrorizing gays, lesbians, other religions, and anything else that's condemned in their "Book of Love."

PLEASE MESSAGE ME THE CRITIQUE. Please don't leave in in the comments!

Thank you!

(Oh, and yours was great btw)

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http://www.wattpad.com/story/1749025-dancing-with-lions

Alys Sinclaire is a born and raised circus girl, where all she has to remember is to not think too hard about where the hell she's going in life. Cant think about how she aquired her freakish powers...But then along came Sean Mclovin'. Despising Sean isn't difficult for Alys, after he shatters the fragile life she has built for herself. Something's wrong about Sean, something big. There's a price to pay for power, and Alys is going to pay it.

They are calling for her. Time is running out.

Tick. Tock.

Ok, so I posted this 5 minutes ago. Please kick it up the ass. It's only a prologue and yes I will read yours, I'll do my best on the comment. @heyitsholland

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Heading to yours. ^^

http://www.wattpad.com/5652873-flight-chapter-1

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@AlexaFragile My story's under construction, if you don't mind then go right ahead and read it :)

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@heyitsholland I would really appreciate your feedback! Thank you :) http://www.wattpad.com/story/1622134-memento-mori

I'm off to yours!

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@MorganaTheWitch My story's still under construction, but I don't mind reading yours :)

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@heyitsholland Please do! It would be much appreciated :D

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@MorganaTheWitch Can I get to it tomorrow? I know your story's awesomesauce, but I'm too tired to write a proper review. Hope you understand :)

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@heyitsholland That is fine, I can wait :D

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@AwksNinja @123gemini @vitamin_water I'm not sure if I finished or started my critiques for you guys and I do apologize. You'll be hearing from me tomorrow ASAP :)

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@heyitsholland ok thank you! I only got a comment on my first chapter but thanks anyway

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@heyitsholland Alright, look forward to hearing from you :D

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