Tell Me a Joke :D

How does a blonde kill a fish? She drowns it ...

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Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.

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A blonde walked into a store to buy curtains. She went up to the salesman and said, "I want those pink curtains to fit my computer screen. The salesman mentioned, "Computers don't need curtains." The blonde said, "Hellooo…. I have windows!"

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What do you do if you miss your mother-in-law? Reload and try again!

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Why do fish live in salt water? Because pepper makes them sneeze.

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What's the last thing to go through a bug's mind as it hits the windshield? His ass

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Give a man a fish, he eats for a day. Teach a man to fish, he eats for a lifetime. Give a man a fire, he's warm for a day. Set a man on fire, he's warm for the rest of his life

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What did the ocean say to the beach? Nothing - it just waved

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Why is sky diving like High School? If you fail you live with it for the rest of your life.

(Sorry if any of these are offensive)

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What do you do when a blonde throws a pin at you? Run like hell ... she's got a hand grenade in her mouth.

Woah! 24 jokes, thats a lot more than I thought.

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These are just some really funny quotes: > enjoy!!

Don't trust your heart It's not on the right side

Some people are alive only because it's illegal to kill them

If life gives you lemons find a really annoying kid with a paper cut

"Immature" is just a word used by people who don't know how to have fun.

Teenagers are the most misunderstood people on the planet, they're treated like kids but are expected to act like adults.

What's the definition of déjà moo? The feeling that you've heard this bullshit before.

How many times do you need to say "excuse me" before "GET OUT OF THE FUCKING WAY!" Becomes acceptable

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