Hard Brutal Critiques FOR FREE. CLOSED TO CATCH UP.

@Selcouth_Girl

http://www.wattpad.com/story/1460776-i-fear-to-forget Focus: Structure of the story, any mistakes, is it interesting (does it make you want to read more)? I'd like an honest criticism. Should I add anything or remove anything? I'd like an overall critique (criticize however you please). Thanks! Reads: 42 reads Love is beautiful, she used to told me. I fell in love a long, long time ago, and I will always be in love. She also told me that she loved me back, very much. Not one day has passed that I haven't thought of her. Not one day I have lived that I stopped loving her. Not one minute, not one second nor a fraction of a second. I love her and she loves me, that is all. Then why did she stop smiling?

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Link: http://www.wattpad.com/story/1517354-save-a-prayer

What you need me to focus on: I would like an honest critique on the overall story, and mainly if it's effective and if you as the reader can connect with the narrative voice. Is it realistic enough? Am I going over the top with the main characters feelings?

How much reads you have: Only 12 at the moment, the story is freshly posted.

Please I really, really need an honest critique, I've edited the chapter a couple of times and got my sister to read over it but I'm still a bit hesistant and think that there's just something missing!

Thank you so much! @Selcouth_Girl

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@Selcouth_Girl

Link: http://www.wattpad.com/story/1346007-distant-world-haruka-sekai

What I need you to focus on: I find that I am being too wordy with my chapters. It's difficult to develop the story with the right balance of descriptions and events, as well as to place the scenes in intelligent order. I'd also like to know how to polish my word flow. My main character has OCD so going into detail may be an excuse for her after all, but I'd like to know if there is any possible writing style aside from being descriptive.

How much reads I have: 331 reads, 21 votes, and 31 comments.

Thank you for your time reviewing my submission. I will really appreciate any help or advice you could provide.

P.S. If it's alright with you, if not the first chapter, you can critique chapter/s 5-2 and/or 6 because those are where my plot begins.

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@Selcouth_Girl Link: http://www.wattpad.com/story/1136319-unstable Focus: I was wondering if you could focus on my characters and maybe my description? Is there too much? Too little? Also, does Ava have a good voice? I would love it if you could look for that but also just focus on the story in general. Reads: 342 reads :D

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@Selcouth_Girl

Link: http://www.wattpad.com/story/1463804-the-experiment

Focus: I would like you to focus on how I developed character relationship, and also showing emotions and making it so the reader feels what the character feels. Feel free to point out anything else you see wrong.

I have 31 reads, 5 comments, and 4 votes

Thank you so much and your opinion will be greatly appreciated! P.S. this is a short story.

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@Selcouth_Girl excuse me,(and my grammar) i want to know, well, how should i put this...Why have you posted this thread here when you should post it in the critique club?

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@Selcouth_Girl

Link: http://www.wattpad.com/story/1382245-socials

What you need to focus on: if there is sufficient clarity in my writing. Also, the story is set in India so I want to know if that leads to confusion to non-Indians. I also have other questions to ask readers at the end of each chapter, I would love answers on that. Finally, I want to know if I've managed to show and not tell.

Reads/comments: 343/71 for the entire story

Thanks!

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@Selcouth_Girl Here's mine (click to read): Angels and demons have been warring for ages. Riya, an angel, is the top flier in her class, training to fight with the Angel Army against the Demons of Hell. But when she is kidnapped by James, a devil with whom she shares a special connection, her eyes are opened to a whole new world. Will their forbidden love prevail, or will they both be destroyed by the evil force haunting Hell?

I'd like it if you could focus on grammar (I go over it but I'm always worried I've missed something) and consistency. I only have a little over 500 reads. Be as harsh as you like.

Thanks so much :)

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@Selcouth_Girl I would love some harsh and honest critiques. Thank you!

Link: http://www.wattpad.com/3030214-batteries-not-included-watty-2012-prologue-void

What you need me to focus on: Can this story be interesting enough to the reader? Does it makes sense? I think I need some feedback on things like characters, plot holes, plausibility (that it doesn't sound totally stupid). Or anything else you find. Any feedback is welcomed.

How much reads you have: 521 Reads, 57 Votes, and 40 Comments

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I know you have a lot on your plate, but I would appreciate it if you would critique my story. I would like to get it published eventually. But it has 6,547 reads all together.

1. Kidnapped My Heart http://www.wattpad.com/story/327149-kidnapped-my-heart 2. I am mostly concerned with word choice and consistency, but if you see any other glaring errors please feel free to point them out. 3. (See above) 7 comments all together.

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DONE. @Ctyolene

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@Selcouth_Girl Thank you.

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This is a song but would you still critque it? I understand if you don't =] http://www.wattpad.com/5276134-songs-and-poems-i-wrote-shoreline

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