Will Give Serious Comments On A Vampire Story For Free!!!

@_TheLCritiquers I just started a story a few weeks ago and I hope you might check it out <3

Twisted Royalty

His return was unexpected. Everyone was more than surprised. But he's not the same anymore. He's not what they wanted. Silent. Dark. Mysterious. Amelia is a simple maid in the castle. Will she be able to find out what was wrong with him? Betrayal by the loved ones, hunger for the power, thirst for blood, breaking of the rules and sacrecy.....

http://www.wattpad.com/story/1429766-twisted-royalty

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http://www.wattpad.com/story/239696-i-want-to-love-you-the-vampire-diaries

Vampire Diaries Fanfic! Please read<3

Selena Russo is a 17 year old "special" witch. She moves to Mistic Falls expecting to live a normal life, dispite the life she left behind. Well, she is completely wrong. The day she meets Elena Gilbert and the Salvatore brothers, everything changes. She left her hometown to get away from all this "fantasy", but here she is facing it again. Selena has to choose between life and death and find the people who she can really trrust. This is a complicated love story that is based on the TV series of the Vampire Diaries.

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Hiii .. THis story only has eight chapters, but hopefully its good enough for a review :-)

Title: Love Sucks

Description:

When Abigail Worthington receives a letter to attend a masquerade ball for the rich and complicated, she is utterly enthralled. It’s all pretty dresses and fancy hair, with tiny wine glasses, mingling, and of course, the masked. But what Abbi doesn’t realize is that the ball is a Vampires Bloody dream. Every human there is inspected closely, and soon, to become the Subjugate of a blood-sucking demon. Only, Vampires aren’t supposed to fall in love with their Subjugates, but when Nathaniel, the son of the High Lord Alexander, finds himself caught in the web and sticking fast, it’s either his blood-lust or his heart.

http://www.wattpad.com/story/1395614-love-sucks

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http://www.wattpad.com/story/1341016-the-vampire-and-i

"You can never escape destiny ones fate ties you down." Crashing worlds that will lead nothing but pain and misery. Anna Moore had lost her grand mother leaving her behind a peace of paper that will lead her to an unknown Academy called Nightfall. There, she was admitted as a 'human' student, leaving her breathless to be involved in a world that can never grow together in peace; Vampires and humans. Nightfall leads her to her dark past as she opens her destiny into a new fate together with the secretive Vampire of the despised family of Vanhouten that once proved that peace can be offered between the prey and its predator. Here then, she discover's her ultimate abilities that will lead danger in the balance of the world. Follow this thrilling tale as Anna unlocks the secrets of many, many worlds, including her's.

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Here is my story...so far its just a page....     I was lost in space, a void, nothing but empty darkness. Only had my thoughts to accompany me. Thoughts that would make even the most wicked man blush. I have sinned more than the devil himself. I was full of lust and greed unlike any mortal man. My greed and lust has cause me to become what I am now. A vampire stronger then any other. I had long lost any attachment to my human soul. http://www.wattpad.com/story/1539530-hidden-soul

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http://www.wattpad.com/story/1235595-a-princess-nightmare

Violet is a 17 year old princess and on top of that she is also a witch who is always up to try a new spell that she thinks will make her life a little easier or at least more exciting. little did she know that every spell she does would bring her face to face with death and witness what kind of creatures are really living among us. She will find out secrets that she never imagined and live a life filled with betrayal but if dealing with all that means in the end she could find true love, she will be more then happy to do it.

http://www.wattpad.com/story/1379752-vampire-charm

Linda is a 16 year old girl who always wanted to be a vampire but she knew that no matter what she would do, she will never get to be one. Though she may not be exactly a vampire, she soon finds a magic charm that will give her all the powers a true vampire would normally have. The power to attract people to her, strength, control there minds and also crave the one thing vampires need most. Blood. Not only does she not know how to control her blood thirsty habit but she finds one person who she is truly in love with. Will her new power somehow get her killed? or worse, will she kill the one man who she loves more then anything in the world? What will happen when her whole world comes crashing down? and she has to deal with the wish she once had, to become a vampire.

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@_TheLCritiquers Title: Candace and Candies:

Genre:(Vampire, but a cliche breaker. Not a sparkling vampire in sight.)

http://www.wattpad.com/story/1203636-candace-and-candies

He lunged for the girl, unwary of the danger he was putting himself in. The girl´s eyes dilated in fear which gave a twisted shock of pleasure to him, one sick crunch and she was dead, he didn´t even want to feed on her or even touch her more than necessary. He dragged the body to a dumpster and went off in search of Candace again. After all, he had done this before, stalking innocent and some not so innocent girls and then killing them without a second thought. All in vain to forget that voice, those laughs haunting his mind, that strawberry smell of her attacking his senses. Always. (comment on last chapter)

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@_TheLCritiquers CLICK THE IMAGE(:

Catalina Harte, never the most popular girl, although beautiful was never sought out by none of the guys, not even her long time crush, Joey. Her long time fear of fire and big crowds makes her an easy target to laugh at. She throws herself in school work, seeing the only way to escape her small town, Roosevelt. Don’t get her wrong she has great friends a lovely Family but something seemed to be missing in her life, she cannot pinpoint it. That is until Roosevelt is populated by beautiful people. No one can keep their eyes off them, especially of the most handsome of them all, Trevor Fier, who has taken a liking to Catalina, though he acts aggressive and hatred towards her, he seems to always be around her, in any situation. What is it that attracts Catalina to Trevor and what is it that attracts Trevor to Catalina. Will he let her in or kill her not wanting her to suffer the ultimate curse.

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My book is called Raven, it's the first in a series of six books called `A Version Of Events'. As the name suggests the series is about the same main story told from six different characters point of view. But each have their own stories to tell, so you're not reading the same story six times lol.

If you like the fantasy genre, then these book are for you. They have Vampires, ShapeShifters, Werewolves, Witches, Elementals, Guardians (Angels)... The list goes on... and on.

Here's the link to the first book: http://www.wattpad.com/story/1243682-a-version-of-events-book-1-raven If you like it then please vote and comment. It's hard to get noticed when you've just joined the site. Thank you in advance x

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@_TheLCritiquers

Only have a prologue and one chapter so far :)

Being Jennifer

http://www.wattpad.com/story/1537008-being-jennifer

“Jennifer Rose has escaped!” he shouted over the crowd. There were gasps of horror, of shock... of fear. Jennifer Rose was the key to the extended existence of the vampire specie. She had the blood of the rarest kind, the kind of blood that can ascertain a vampire to live even beyond their thousand years.

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http://www.wattpad.com/story/1378859-taken-at-dusk

thank you :) this link leads you to the description :D

Please tell me what you thought of the story thank you :)

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@_TheLCritiquers

Comment on the extract for now, unless the first chapter is published by the time you get to my critique. :) Thank you!

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@_TheLCritiquers hope you like it

http://www.wattpad.com/story/1459580-fated

Jude Nikolai Matthews or Jude Nikolai Knight or Jude Nikolai Levi or Jude Nikolai Levi Matthew Knight (i'm not set on a name) vampire prince, hates humans. so when he's sent their dimension, hes not so trilled. he thinks of them as the lowest of t... read more

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@_TheLCritiquers http://www.wattpad.com/story/1675858-shadowed

Keira Blackwell looked up at the sky when the house was nothing but charred remains. There were no stars above which twinkled merrily down at her. No, she corrected herself. There were no stars since she killed her first vampire--her father. As the death toll she caused increased, the world grew colder and became a stranger to her. Too much blood spilled, too much brutality, too much deaths. Humans and vampires signed a treaty that allowed both species to coexist as long as the vampires fed from blood banks and not actual humans. Vampires were considerably stronger but they were outnumbered by humans. Taking advantage of their superiority, they soon began to dominate the politics, the show business, Wallstreet , the economy, everything. High-profiled vampires like politicians, actors and actresses, businessmen and women, famous designers and authors started their rampage of killing and feeding frenzies. All done in secrecy. Humans were unaware. Vampire assassins were not. They, and only they, were equipped to deal and even kill the vampires who broke the treaty. With acute senses enough to rival a vampire, good reflexes and physical dexterity, they were more than capable. The Division, an huge organization of vampire assassins, produces the strongest, the fastest, the best ad the most lethal. But Keira Blackwell was the deadliest of them all because she was a vampire herself.

It only has 6 short parts. Would really appreciate if you read all :) Thanks

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www.wattpad.com/5858768-blood-of-oath Thanks :)

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http://www.wattpad.com/story/1377873-darkness-inside-me-vampire-werewolf-romance @_TheLCritiquers Cheers if you do XD

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It's only about Seven chapters so far, just pick any chapter you want. Vampire Romance Story.

When one lives and have everything but will one go to measures just to be together?

Her name is Exploria, she lived for the past 600 years as a vampire on earth tired of going through the same life without any others like her so she married a fancy business man. She has the money, the cars and the fame but she feels lost until she meets him.

His name is Princeton the lost young Artist and his life is completely going no where. But when he meets Exploria there fire chemistry that they can't avoided. An one night stand taken to far can they fight what they feel when their worlds crumble into pieces as they get more tangle into each other.

Add a little danger, sexy shifters, vampires and a little sexy love results in a tragic spell.

Link:http://www.wattpad.com/story/1613125-i-give-you-permission-to-reach-out-and-touch-me

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http://www.wattpad.com/5986450-damon%27s-daughter-the-vampire-diaries It's only one chapter actually, enjoy ! :)

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Check this one out if you have time: http://www.wattpad.com/story/504982-sweet-blood-pleasure Genre: Romance Mystery Fantasy Drama Tragedy Vampire Supernatural Rated: R

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@_TheLCritiquers It has six parts and people are telling me that this was not cliche

http://www.wattpad.com/story/1675858-shadowed

Keira Blackwell looked up at the sky when the house was nothing but charred remains. There were no stars above which twinkled merrily down at her. No, she corrected herself. There were no stars since she killed her first vampire--her father. As the death toll she caused increased, the world grew colder and became a stranger to her. Too much blood spilled, too much brutality, too many deaths. Humans and vampires signed a treaty that allowed both species to coexist as long as the vampires fed from blood banks and not actual humans. Vampires were considerably stronger but they were outnumbered by humans. Taking advantage of their superiority, they soon began to dominate the politics, the show business, Wallstreet , the economy, everything. High-profiled vampires like politicians, actors and actresses, businessmen and women, famous designers and authors started their rampage of killing and feeding frenzies. All done in secrecy. Humans were unaware. Vampire assassins were not. They, and only they, were equipped to deal and even kill the vampires who broke the treaty. With acute senses enough to rival a vampire, good reflexes and physical dexterity, they were more than capable. The Division, an huge organization of vampire assassins, produces the strongest, the fastest, the best ad the most lethal. But Keira Blackwell was the deadliest of them all because she was a vampire herself.

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http://www.wattpad.com/story/1378360-sweet-misfortune-book-one-house-of-tainted-blood

Scarlett La Mort was never one to follow rules. Driven by blood lust and the power of the hunt, she enjoys the pleasure life has to offer. A vampire by nature, she never meant to let a human into her heart. Rules are set in place to protect . One bite too many, means she's next. Forced to flee from her father's wraith, she begins a new life in the sleepy old town of Killford.

Darren Forde has spent his whole life living in the shadows. Ever since the death of the twins, he's been a ghost in his parents house. Killford University was meant to be an escapism. Following in the footsteps of his best friend, Jake Molloy, Darren indulges himself in Killford pleasures. Girls and booze, can only do so much to numb the dreams which wake him every night.

Things are not quiet in Killford. A Historic landmark warns of a new war on the rise. As Scarlett and Darren's lives intertwine, a stranger threatens to destroy the serenity of Killford. Missing people, death, ghosts. Killford is awakening. Will Darren learn to accept the truth about his brothers death? Can Scarlett trust her secret to a human again? How long before the past catches up with them both?

In the end, there is nothing sweeter than misfortune.

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http://www.wattpad.com/story/1558052-love-bites here u go love ^_^ @_TheLCritiquers Uh, comment in what you want, but would really like a comment in chap one. Cya

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I like really new to wattpad.......and writing.....would really like your opinion on my first ever story.....started writing cause I wanted something challenging to do as not fall into depression...yah....so.....please review

http://www.wattpad.com/story/1652626-made-of-stone

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@_TheLCritiquers

I would love it if you could read my story :-). A chapter you choose.

http://www.wattpad.com/4530067-paramour

Summary Vampires were known to humanity for just a couple of years, but was it for a reason? Suddenly vampires are starting to become terribly sick and as that sickness progresses the vampires die, actually die. The vampires that haven’t been affected by the plague become desperate and vicious, doing anything in their power to make sure they too don’t die. Humanity is in the clear because this sickness only affects vampires. Although They do have a cure for this unknown vampiric plague only a chosen few know. She is their savior.

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http://www.wattpad.com/story/90168-high-school-to-vampire-high Victoria's your average teenage girl, she happens to live next door to the Turner brothers which she has known her whole life, and Jake her other next door neighbor who doubles as one of her best friends. She lives with her mum, Steve(step dad), Dean, David and Vanessa her brothers and sisters. As certain events lead her to finding out she's in a school that has Vampires, she learns new family secrets and her life is quickly changed around making her face problems she's never faced before.

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