So you want to write horror?

If you want to write horror, get up, off your lazy behind, and get yourself down to a bookstore. There are entire SHELVES dedicated to horror. Stop asking people "Oh, I'm new to the genre, how do I write it?" Seriously, it is ANNOYING. And it takes up valuable space that could be used for actual horror related things, like comparing best horror writers (don't hate me for saying Lovecraft is best), or developing ideas, or even discussing the philosophy of horror.

Anyways, go to the nearest book store, and buy some freaking horror novels. Then study them. STUDY THE CRAP OUT OF THEM. IDGAF if you it doesn't have romance in it, YOU PICK UP THAT HORROR NOVEL, AND YOU READ IT! Because, guess what, horror and romance DO NOT MIX. Sure, it's been done, maybe even well, but we are talking about the PRIMORDIAL EMOTION! It wasn't love that allowed man to descend from the trees, and it wasn't love that kept man huddled together around the fire at night. It was FEAR! Terror! HORROR! All other emotions evolved from fear. A lack of fear brings happiness and relaxation, the presence of fear can leave anger and hatred. Fear is the penultimate emotion; everything can be traced back to it. The sooner you understand that, the sooner you can appreciate horror.

But seriously, though, stop trying to write horror/romances. It just unbalances the whole thing, ruining both sides of the story. It's okay to have a very light romantic subplot, but don't make the romancing a BIG FREAKING DEAL. Because, in a horror novel, it really isn't.

So, stop it with the "how do I horror novel" posts, and go buy some horror novels. Seriously. There are shelves upon shelves filled with horror novels. If you're entirely HELLBENT on getting teen fiction horror, then go straight to Darren Shan's Demonata series. Do not even LOOK at other teen fiction novels. Grab Demonata, AND GET THE HELL OUT. Okay. Good. The first book is Lord Loss. Read it during the day, in a single day, because you will crap yourself.

Reply Report

rant is over. I regret nothing.

Reply Report

Meep.

Reply Report

@Anahlynn [rage] Your mother is a *beep beep beep beep*Laura Mendsom*beep beep beep*Inventive menium*beep beep beep beep*tra goo la*beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep* hippopotamus*beep beep beep beep beep beep* Republican *beep beep beep*Daniel Radcliffe *beep beep beep beep* with a bucket of *beep beep beep beep* in a castle far away where no one can hear you *beep beep beep beep beep beep* soup *beep beep beep* with a bucket of *beep beep* Mickey Mouse *beep beep* with a stick of dynamite *beeeeeepppp* magical *beep beep beep beep* ALAKAZAM! [/rage]

Reply Report

@DanGil you make some interesting points... On a completely seperate note. Where can I find a book store and what do they look like? Also how can I tell a horror book is good. Will it tell me if I whisper to it.

I have a horror story - I dropped my car keys in a well. Erm do you think this will make the top 10. Please respond as I wish to start this novel straightaway

Reply Report

@vanitycat *repeats the Elder Swear to you*

Reply Report

@DanGil is that a no? hmmm this saddens me. I will have think of another. BRB PLEASE SAVE ME A SPACE

Reply Report

@DanGil Dumbledore said to never use the Elder Swear! I'm telling.

Reply Report

@Anahlynn *repeats the elder swear again*

Reply Report

@vanitycat oh god that was awesome XD

Reply Report

AND ANOTHER THING! STOP ASKING FOR "Extremely good, descriptive, horror stories"! Just go to the store and BUY a horror novel, DAMMIT! UGH!

And another thing, WHEN, OH WHEN, WILL WE GET OUR BLOCK FUNCTION?

Reply Report

@vanitycat @DanGil Nice work, keep it going. Make my Mass Effect leave worthwhile.

Reply Report

@JohnHStyles @DanGil

Reply Report

@vanitycat Darn it. Why don't you have this in higher resolution... I just wanna take a good ... look at it. Anyway, the weird chick is blocking my view on the shelf!

Reply Report

@JohnHStyles

Reply Report

@DanGil Whoops, sorry, thought this was a thread on how to write Horror Stories... guess I'll just have to go ask now, because, I just have to do the opposite of what you just, like, said. And the best horror writer, is like, totally, R.L.Stine, like, yeah.

Reply Report

R. L. Stine!!!!

Reply Report

Well said, Dan, and the rant is fully appreciated. I don't think there's anything I can say to add to your points. Except there might be a place for romance and horror together... horror porno. "I'm so scared right now, let's copulate."

Reply Report

@GradyRichards yeah, but that's not romance. HOW DARE YOU STICK PORNO AND ROMANCE IN THE SAME BOAT *rages*

But yeah, seriously. Bunch of noobs think they can just SUDDENLY get good a writing horror! It takes YEARS of STUDYING to perfect the art of the written word, and even more if you want to write horror!

Reply Report

@DanGil agreed. I just decided right this moment that I'm going to be an astrophysicist. Today.

Reply Report

@GradyRichards woooooooooooow! And I decided that I'm going to be an Indie Game Developer!

Reply Report

@DanGil Actually I didn't do any sort of studying before writing... I just waited until the sleeplessness kicked in and got going...

Reply Report

@JohnHStyles

Reply Report

@vanitycat Give me the link if it's not displaying correctly... I wanna know! I WANNA KNOW!

Reply Report