Chevy

Oooh you look lost, the 'back' button is at the top over there, yeah keep going, yup that's it, the 'become a fan' button will take you right out of here. 

Oh, it didn't work? Pssshh technology these days. *sits back like a mafia boss* Come on take a seat you'll be here for quite some time so get comfortable. Help yourself to some cookies and vodka, if you don't drink there's beer in the fridge.  

Soo how'd you end up here anyway? *tapping chin* Oh, looking for a place to spam? Darling, you definetly are lost.

I'm Chavon and you are? *chokes on choc chip cookie*  Noooo, you're joking, like the actor? I'm sure your mother had a crush when she named you.

Taking from your accent, you're not from here, so where you from?  *eyes wide*  Never, you're playing? Like really? I once knew a dog from there, the little pest had a nasty case of pie-against-chavon, unfortunately he's been swimming with the fishes for quite a while.

So Honey, you have a bucket list? *sits while you go on and on about marrying and having children and mainly OneDirection* Mmmmm seems like a decent list, it's a shame you won't get to do any of that. *takes out gun and starts screwing on the silencer*

No, No don't cry, it will all be over soon. You never know, maybe OneDirection will be waiting wherever you're going.
 
BANG!! 

*laughs*  Shuts them up everytime. 

Ohhh look I have a new fan.