My Hopeless choice & My Fearless Choice (On hold)

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+ My Hopeless Choice +

*Chapter I*

The sun was looking dominant up in the sky. A soft breeze was brushing the branches of the tree I was staring at. I observed how the leaves were lifted from the ground and then flew away with the wind and wished I could be those leaves. Even though there was a window separating me from the outside, I swear I could smell nature and feel the soft wind against me. I sighed, resting my chin on both of my hands while I kept watching through the window. 
 
"Miss Boissieu." The mention of my last name got my attention. It was then I noticed Professor Harris standing beside me, really close to my chair, with her arms folded across her chest. A perfect pony tail was holding up her brown hair; she was a thin woman in comparison with my other teachers. Her hazel eyes were looking right into mine. She raised one of her thick eyebrows and asked, "Do you find that ugly tree more interesting than my class?" I did indeed but I would never say it aloud. You see, I had a great ability with lying, and pretending to be the perfect student.
 
"I apologize for my inappropriate behavior, Mrs. Harris. It was not my intention to disrespect you in any way," I replied politely. This was a very strict Christian school. Mrs. Harris walked back to her desk, murmuring something about teenagers these days. 
 
I had been living here for the past three weeks. This was a boarding school and my grandparents were paying for it. Why? Because my parents are gone. They and my little sister were killed in cold blood a month ago. I couldn't remember that terrible night. According to my psychologist, my brain had blocked that memory trying to protect itself. But that didn't mean it was any less painful or easier to get over; losing your family all of a sudden can break you from the inside. After that terrible night, my grandparents decided to send me here. I believe they weren't prepared to deal with me, a depressed sixteen year old girl. Besides, I was sure I reminded them of my parents. I understood their pain. 
 
"Flower," a soft voice whispered behind me. I turned half of my body to look at the source.
 
"I told you my name is 'Fleur' not Flower," I said to Dana, probably the only friend I had made so far.
 
"But Fleur means Flower in English, right?" She pronounced Fleur totally wrong.
 
"Yes, but..." I sighed "Never mind. What do you want?" 
 
"I need your help..." she ran her fingers through her reddish hair "...with my French. I have an evaluation tomorrow." She pouted, blinking. Her dark eyes were staring at me, trying to convince me. I must admit, she was a nice girl albeit a little crazy sometimes.
 
"How do you know I speak French?"  I questioned, curious. French was my mother tongue; I was born in a peaceful province in the North of France. My family and I had lived there until my father made some enemies, because he was a lawyer and had sent some criminals to jail, who then decided to take revenge and started threatening him. 
 
So, my father decided it was better for us to move out and we came here to Canada, where my grandparents live. Dad bought a gorgeous cabin in the mountains, but only two months later, an assassin got inside and killed everyone but me. According to the police, it had been a mercenary sent to kill us all; they also said it may have been one of those criminals who wanted revenge that had sent that man to our home. They said I was lucky to survive but do you think I felt lucky? No, not really. 
 
"Flower?" Dana's voice snapped me out of my thoughts.
 
"I'm sorry. Eh... again, how do you know I speak French?"
 
"Well, your name is French and your accent, hmm it's pretty obvious" 
 
"Right, I'll see what I can do. See you after class" I faked a smile. I realized I had completely forgotten how it felt to laugh or to smile for real.
 
"Miss Boissieu," Mrs. Harris called me. Immediately, I turned to the front "Can you tell me what part of the bible refers to the end of the world?" Easy question.
 
"The Book of Revelations" I replied quickly. I knew she had noticed I was not paying attention, which is why she asked me that.
 
"Good. Well, that's all for today. Have a great day, you're dismissed." Everyone in the classroom started picking up their stuff. "Miss Boissieu, stay." I was surprise by her request, so I just nodded, walking to her desk.
 
"Is there something wrong, Mrs. Harris?"
 
"No, but I've been informed you stopped attending your psychologist appointments" Oh... that.
 
"With all due respect, Mrs. Harris, I don't believe I need that anymore."
 
"I'm afraid that is not up to you. You have been through a lot and we have to make sure you're getting over that terrible event."
 
"I'm not crazy."
 
"That's not what I'm saying but the psychologist thinks you're holding back your feelings."
 
"He's a total stranger."
 
"He is an expert in his area of study. Just give him a try." I really didn't want to keep on seeing that man. I didn't like talking about my parents, it was just too painful.
 
"Ok, Mrs. Harris I will attend my next appointment," I lied.
 
"Good. You may go now," she said, looking at me through her glasses. 
 
I stepped out of that classroom and turned right to walk through the long corridor. A crowd of girls was invading the place; this part of the school was for females. Boys were placed in another wing because we couldn't get mixed by any chance. 
 
Our uniform consisted of a long black skirt that reached our knees and a white shirt covered with a black jacket. We wore long socks that managed to cover the remaining visible skin. Yes, our uniform was not sexy, as you may have noticed. What can I say? It was a Christian school after all. 
 
I held my books tighter to my chest while I was heading to the dorms wing. When I reached my door, I got inside, closing it behind me. I rested my body on it and took a few steps until I was facing the mirror.
 
The girl in the reflection looked like a zombie. She had bags under her eyes and her skin lacked of brightness or softness. Her dirty blonde hair fell in cascades down her shoulders; her dark blue eyes stared back at me with so much sadness. I wondered where the smiling girl I had once been had gone?  I sighed.
 
The day had come. I turned on my feet and headed to my bed, sitting on it. I just had to wait for the night to come. 
 
After a few hours, the dark began flowing through my room and I checked the clock: 7:10 pm. I stepped out carefully, looking in both directions down the corridor. I walked slowly to the stairs; I knew the guard for the girls’ wing was not there as I had memorized her routine. I had 10 minutes before she returned from the bathroom. I continued my way upstairs. 
 
As soon as I stepped on the roof, the wind brushed my hair back violently. The night was deadly cold as usual. I pressed my jacket tighter to my body, trying to protect myself from the breeze that was now caressing my skin. I walked straight to the banister.
The view of the dark woods surrounding the school building was kind of scary together with the city's light which seemed to be extremely far away. I took a deep breath, filling my lungs, and then exhaled it slowly.