Chapter Eleven: It'll Be Like A PG-13 Version of Disney Fucking Land

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Chapter Eleven: It’ll Be Like A PG-13 Version of Disney Fucking Land

Someone’s placed a framed picture of Cole and me on my vanity table at home and I want to hug whoever that person is. It’s one from a trip we took to the beach this past summer, I’m grinning at the camera, Cole’s standing behind me and holding me in his arms. His head’s turned towards me and he’s beaming at me, you can practically see the feelings that he has for me pouring out of the picture. Picking up the wooden rustic looking frame I hug it to my chest and decide to take it back to my dorm.

“I had it in my phone and thought you’d like a blown up version of it.” Travis leans against my doorframe and smiles warmly at me. For old times sake he’s crashing in his old room though I imagine the memories it holds for him can’t be too pleasant.

“I love it. It was a really good day.”

“You’re talking about like there haven't been too many of those since then.” 

I don’t want to mope during my time home because that’s not why I’m here. It’s the holidays and I’m supposed to be spending this time doing anything but unloading all my problems on to them. But they’ve already seen enough, heard enough and my good intentions have gone to waste. 

“You know how it is Trav, college isn’t always what you expect it to be. I’m just feeling a little lost right now and Cole is well…I think he’s just suffering because of confused I am.”

“What’s there to be confused about?” Travis walks into the room and sits on my bed patting the space next to him and I follow his directions.

“You’ve always known what you wanted from life, always more than I did. Hell I never had any intentions of getting into politics or law school or any of the other stuff dad had planned for me. I’m going back to school in a couple of months and it scares the shit out of me because I still don’t know what I want to do with my life. But you’ve always had a dream and you pursued it relentlessly. Are you going to let some entitled airheads get in the way of that?” 

When he puts it that way I feel incredibly stupid.

“It’s not just the airheads, it’s knowing that there’s one thing that I’ve learned to feel the most secure about and that same thing is being threatened over and over again. It took me a long time to feel comfortable in my relationship with Cole, to understand that we’re equals and not ask myself why someone like him would be into someone like me.”

He groans in frustration, “Are you even listening to yourself? God if Beth were here she’d put you in your place. This isn’t the Tess I know and the more you put yourself down the more I want to hurt someone.”

“Well it’s a good thing Jay’s in the neighbourhood right?”

“Can’t get into trouble with the Sheriff, he has to oversee all my community service paperwork but I could always wear a ski mask.” He muses

“And jump Jay in a dark parking lot, oh and Beth would totally have enough black outfits for both of you.”

“I don’t think she’s aware of any other colour existing. If she didn’t look so hot in it I’d say it was a little disturbing.” 

 I laugh and he rolls his eyes, “That was a brilliant change of subject but come on we’re not done talking about you.”

“There’s not much to talk about. I’m lacking in the confidence department and that’s a known fact. Those girls, well blood sucking leeches would be a better word but they’re aware of it and they take advantage of the fact.”

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