The Stripper Equation

Everything That May Have Been Went Out the Window

We were getting everything around for Daphne’s party.  You would think that there wouldn’t be much of a turnout for a Sunday night but Daphne’s parties always get a great turnout.  She usually invites everyone from the club and whoever isn’t on that night comes.  She pretty much invites everybody else she knows so it’s always interesting who shows up. 

I was on the floor pulling Daphne’s immense liquor collection out of her cabinets, one by one.  I was placing them in two piles.  One pile had the full bottles and the second pile was for the bottles that were almost empty.  The latter was the bigger pile, which meant we were going to need to hit the liquor store.  When I was done I sat back and looked at all the almost empty bottles.  “How are we going to carry all those bottles back?”

Daphne stopped what she was doing and stood behind me, deep in thought.  “Steve has a car.  We could call him.”

“I thought he couldn’t make it to the party?”  I wasn’t sure if Daphne was going to be on her best behavior without Steve around.

Daphne shook her head.  “No he can’t make it.  His family does some hunting, sporty, outdoor thing every year.”

“And you didn’t want to meet them?”  I was lifting the full bottles onto the counter.

Daphne was writing down all the liquor we needed to pick up.  “I have met them.  Several times.  Have you ever known me to be outdoorsy and sporty?”

“Well I have seen you go outdoors before.”  I gave Daph a devilish grin.  “And dancing is kind of a sport.”

“Oh please.  I am not a dancer I am a stripper.  Do you see me doing any grand jetes on stage?”  Daphne put her hand on her hip.  “Who is the queen of the booty drop?”

I gave an exaggerated bow.  “You are your majesty.”

“That’s right.  My weapon is shaking my ass not shooting a gun.”  To prove her point she dropped down low.

“So you actually met his family?”  I was surprised that Daphne had met the family.  She hated meeting the family.  She knows that her being a stripper is usually a deal breaker and she would never lie about it.  “And they know you are a stripper?”   

Daphne shrugged.  “Steve told them.  I don’t think it was a selling point.  They are pretty well off but they made me feel welcome and nobody mentioned it.”

“Did they not invite you on the trip?”  I was getting very defensive of Daphne.  I really liked Steve but I didn’t want anyone treating Daphne as anything other than the amazing person she was.

“I was invited but I declined the offer.  I think they figure that if Steve and I get serious I will become a little house wife.”  Daphne rolled her eyes.  “Fat chance of that.  I’ve been working since I was 13 I wouldn’t know what to do with myself if I didn’t have a job.”

Daphne had always helped support her mother and her sisters growing up.  We had that in common.  Although I had a great family life before my parents had died, after that I had been on my own.  “There are other jobs.”

Daphne looked over at me as if I had betrayed her.  “Lennie I know there are other jobs, but I like my job and if Steve doesn’t have a problem with it then I don’t care what his family has to say about it.”  She said matter of factly.  “Besides I am so damn loveable they’ll get over it and realize how awesome I am eventually.  But that won’t be while I’m spending the whole day complaining about being outside and sweaty, killing Bambi’s mommy.”

I was a little surprised about Daph’s comment about Steve not caring about her being a stripper.  “So does Steve say he doesn’t care or does he actually not care?”  I wasn’t sure if that made him an amazingly supportive boyfriend or a chump.  I guess as a stripper I shouldn’t think down on someone who accepts my lifestyle choice.  I guess I never really gave it much thought.  Would I want to date someone who was fine with me stripping?  I know I wouldn’t quite just because somebody told me to but I wasn’t sure if I could respect somebody who was okay with it either.  I don’t think that this was an argument that had a winner.