For the First Time | n.h.

Chapter Thirteen

MEGAN’S POV:

The words that Niall said to me that night stayed with me. They were always there; lingering in the back of mind, but I never had the courage to follow through with them. I was still under the impression that I needed Ben and that he needed me. Our relationship was just getting worse and worse though as the weeks continued. We were officially dating for three months when I realized just how much power he had over me. I didn’t think things could get worse than they were but they did. Of course they did.

                It was around the end of December, nearly Christmas, when Ben decided he wanted more from me than I was willing to offer.

                We were sitting in my living room on the sofa that night. He was holding me tightly on his lap as I marvelled at the nicely decorated tree. Ben had helped me this year. It was nice to have not done it alone. Maura had invited me over for Christmas but of course I couldn’t go; Ben would be pissed.

                Nonetheless, we were having a good night. Ben had kept his temper steady and controlled the entire time. There had been no fighting or tears. He had made me hot chocolate, helped me put the star on the top of the tree, and gladly cuddled with me on the sofa.

                We sat there comfortably for a long while before Ben’s hands tightened around my waist. I snuggled into him further as his lips found my neck. He placed a kiss on my skin before whispering “I love you.” I grinned and turned slightly to give him a kiss on the lips. I was expecting it to be brief but instead it was long and urgent.

Soon enough I was completely facing him, my legs straddling his lap, and kissing him full on the mouth. Ben’s hands trailed down my back and found the edge of my blouse. His fingers slipped under the fabric and ran across my bare skin. When I pulled away to take a breath, he took the opportunity to flip me on my back and prop himself on top of me. He left a trail of small bites and kisses up my neck before kissing my lips again. Ben’s hand slipped under my shirt and he roughly pushed it up and managed to get it over my head with my help.

I didn’t want it to get that far, but it was only a little bit of skin, right? Besides, I didn’t want Ben to get angry if I ruined the moment. He kissed me again as I ran a hand through his hair. Suddenly he removed my hand and placed it by my side. He continued to pin both of my arms against the sofa so that I couldn’t move them. It was a tad uncomfortable but I still didn’t say anything.

That’s when his hands found the button on my jeans. As he began pulling them down my hips I finally spoke up.

“Ben I don’t know about this,” I said only to have him completely ignore me.

He pulled my pants down to my knees before reaching for his own belt-buckle.

“Ben stop,” I said, my voice as firm as I could manage.

He stared at me with dark eyes, “Stop?”

I nodded as the fear set in. “I’m not ready yet, can we please stop?”

Ben’s breath came out rapid and heavy. “You’re not ready?”