Sitting on the old leather swing with rusted chains, i slowly started to think what my life would be like if my father wasn't a drunk.
Would that mean that he wouldn't hit me? Would i not be a 'cutter'? Would anyone ever really love me? Would i still be thinking about suicide on this swing next to the lake? Or would i be at home with a happy life. One where my father loved me and i didn't have scars all over my arms.
But it doesn't matter what it would be like. It's not like that so why should i think about things that arn't true.
Pushing these thoughts aside, i reached in my bag to get my ipod and quickly put on Black Veil Brides. Saviour started blasting into my ear drums as i slowly rose and glided across the grass to my car.
Glancing up i took everything around me in. The amazing forest just a few feet away, the wide open lake with amazing lilys, the cloudy gray sky, and the simplenest of this place. I climbed to my Ford Mustang that i had won in a contest and drove down the twisty back roads.
I don't want to go home tonight. It's friday and dad will be wasted, i think i'll just go down to the bar and work a few more hours. I mean it can't hurt right? Dad never goes to the bar so at least i'd be away from him, It's not like he'd do anything with other people there anyway so i'll be fine.
Loving this awesome thought i called my boss Jay, to tell him that i'd cover for him tonight so he could stay home with his family. Of course he said yes and also informed me that my best friend, Cassie, was going to be working with me tonight so i'd just see if i could go to her apartment with her after we closed up.
See, i'm 20, and the reason i don't have my own place is, well... My dad has't let me leave ever since my twin sister, Page, died in a car crash when we were 10. After that my mom packed up one night and left. She never left a note or anything. She never called. For all i knew she could be dead. But ever since all of these fucked up things started happening to us. He's been the worst father you could ever ask for. He completely hates that i lived and my sister didn't. He's always telling me how i was the one that was supposed to die. I know it's not true but... But sometimes it feels like it. O well, it's life i guess, or mine anyways.
But lets not think about the fucked up stuff in life. Lets think about the task at hand shall we?
I picked up my phone and dialed Cassie. While it rang Someone Somewhere by Asking Alexandria played. Then she answered. "Hey chica. What's up?"
I chuckled, she always called me chica. "Hey, i'm taking over for Jay tonight. Is it ok if i stay the night at your place after, i really don't want to go home." I asked her while turning to go down my street so i could run in and grab some of my things for work and Cassie's, if she said yes.
"Oh Sweet! And no problem. You know i don't care if you stay..." She trailed off for a moment.
I got out of the car seeing an empty driveway, meaning he was still at work, Thank god. I ran up the steps and opened the door.
"Riot... Move in with me. I mean i know you don't want to because your scared about your dad and all. But your my best fucking friend! I hate seeing you like this. Oh and just so you know it was a statement not a question." Cassie said in her chirpy little voice.
"Cassie... I don't know..." I trailed off as i climbed the stairs to my bed room to grab a change of clothes.
"Well you are, Oh and i'm walking in your house now so don't shoot me thinking i'm a robber or something." She laughed and hung up just as she entered my room. Quickly she hugged me then made her way to my closet, grabbing two of my four duffle bags that i had, and shoving all of clothes into them. I just shook my head and started putting everything from my small white room into my other bags because i knew that there was no point in fighting with her, she ALWAYS wins.
I walked to the bathroom grabbing my straghtiner, make-up, toothbrush and other important bathroom items. I entered my bedroom to find that Cassie had alread taken two of my bags and my pillow to her car. I am really nervous about this, i mean my father isn't the type of guy to let things like this get by, if you know what i mean. But i skratched a note down saying that i had moved out and not to bother me ever again. One good thing was he didn't even know i had a job so he wouldn't show up there.