Cinders

Chapter Twelve

To say my emotions were taking over me would defiently be the understatement of the century. I couldn’t eat or sleep and every time any of the charm business was mentioned I would try not to cry. I’m never like this ever. I always manage to control my emotions. Why is this situation any different from the others. Why can’t I lock away my feelings in the perfectly fitted box that lay in the back of my mind. No matter how hard Alex and Poppy tried to make me feel a little better, they failed miserably. I didn’t want to be cheered up I just wanted to find this stupid maze and find the charms. The sooner I did that the sooner I could find Logan.

“Josh stop being a complete son of a bitch and help,” Alex yelled breaking me out of myself pitying mode and back to the conversation.

“Alex watch your language in front of the children please,” exclaimed Leo as he attempted to cover the twin’s ears. They had all gathered again in the library in order to talk about how to save Logan. As usual Josh was being his stubborn self and refused to help. I could see where he was coming from. He never did like Logan but we still needed him in order to get all of the charms. Why was it that I always had to find things and collect them. First it was crystals and now charms. Would I ever get a break from these goose chases.

“I just don’t understand why I have to put my life on the line for a demon. Especially that one,” Josh growled his voice full of hatred.

“Sometimes Josh you are so selfish,” Alex hissed.

“You are acting like this guy is worth saving!  He is a lying scheme piece of crap…”

“No he isn’t! He is a good guy and even though he is a demon it doesn’t change the fact that I love him. I don’t care whether you like that fact or not. I couldn’t care less if anyone has a problem with that,” I exclaimed. Josh looked shocked as he rose from his seat at the table. What was coming next was not going to be pretty.

“You love him! Are you fricking kidding me. You have lost your fucking mind!”

“Seriously though guys language,” Leo butted in pointing at Genevieve and Adam as they sat giggling at us.

“Right and you have never fallen in love with someone you shouldn’t,” I exclaimed. Defiantly a cheap shot and I now feel guilty for hurting him but he did hurt me first.

“That’s different. The person I fell in love with wasn’t a demon…”

“No they were half,” I replied. He face fell as I replied to him and he took his time to respond to me.  Everyone shifted in their seats at the awkward tension that was brewing at the sudden silence.

“Just tell me one thing. What does he have that I don’t,” Josh asked breaking the silence.

“My heart,” I replied. I didn’t mean for it to sound harsh or for it to hurt him. It was just the truth and I didn’t want to lie anymore. It defiantly sounded a hundred times cheesier out loud than it did in my head.

“Perfect,” he sighed walking away from us. I watched from the balcony as he left the library dragging his feet. Whoever said honesty is the best policy has clearly never walked in my shoes. Maybe I should cut down on the honesty talk as it hurts more people than it helps.

“Yeah, I’m going after him..”

“Elle I’m telling you. Let him go,” Alex mumbled. For once I was going to ignore Alex’s advice and go after Josh. I just can’t let him go away hating me and even worse thinking I hate him.  That may be a bit dramatic but I don’t care I’m feeling the dramatic way. Orbing from the library I orbed right in front of an angry Josh.