Starcrossed

12. Magic Stick

After reading the story from beginning to what i've got so far, i've realized i had made a small mistake. I went from Bee and Lola not talking to Bee telling Lola that she was pregnant, completely leaving out the part where Bee finds out she is preggo... so without further adue, here it is! 

-Shax

P.S: this was added as an extra (a very short extra, tbh) to the chapter before, so please do read the 11th chapter titled FEELING INSECURE in order to know what i'm talking about... hopefully i don't make this mistake again... >.>
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Bee 

I tried to calm my breathing but nothing was helping. The constant knocking on the door was giving me a headache and no matter what I did I couldn't tune it out. The pounding on the door almost mimicked the pounding of my heart only that my ribcage seemed to be closer to the brink of breaking rather than the door.

"Bee, what's wrong? Stop hogging the bathroom!" I heard Memo say and I chuckled humorlessly.

For a moment I had forgotten I was living with him now. My mother hasn't come to look for me, so yes 'living' is the correct word to use here. It's been about two weeks since I left her house, no texts or calls from her part. A few from my sister telling me to come home and talk to mom, some from Raul telling me to keep my mouth shut if I cherish my life... it feels like empty threats, but right now I wonder if he would really kill me.

I wish he would.

"Bee, I'm serious get out of there!" Memo's voice had a hint of determination on it and slight concern could be heard, but most of all it was annoyance.

"Give... give me a minute." I said through clenched teeth as I looked down at the purple box in my hand.

It had been embarrassing to buy this yesterday, but what was even more shocking was the lack of surprise from the lady ringing up my sale. She seemed to be used to teenagers coming to the pharmacy to buy pregnancy test. It felt like any other Tuesday to her, I'm sure. To me it felt like my life was about to be over in a matter of minutes and two lines would tell me if I had a future or not.... Shit!

I opened the door to see Memo standing there in a wide stance with his arms crossed over his chest. He looked annoyed, embarrassed, and a little bit concerned. From my peripheral vision I could see his mother standing just outside her bedroom door, not missing a beat of what was happening between Memo and I. Now I understood why he looked embarrassed, I guess his mother told him to get me out of the bathroom already.

"What were you doing in there for so long?"

I raised a brow, trying to hide my nervousness with wit, "do you really need to ask?"

He looked uncomfortable, "you were there for a long time."

I glanced towards his mother and chuckled humorlessly, was she keep track of how long I was in the bathroom for? Fucking freak, I thought to myself and made sure my eyes told her just that.

"I don't know if you skipped health class last year, but there is a thing that happens to women every month... do you need further explanation?"

Memo shook his head as he cleared his throat and walked down the stairs, leaving me alone with his mother. She looked at me suspiciously but I ignored her and went into Memo's room.

I had placed the purple box in my pocket and had covered it with the long hoodie I had borrowed from Memo earlier in the week. He hadn't seen the box and thankfully his mother hadn't either. As soon as I was in the room, I debated about locking the door and decided to do so. If Memo came pounding on the door I would say that I was changing and didn't feel comfortable with his family in the house. Once I locked the room I turned the lights on and walked slowly to the bed. The purple box felt like it weigh a ton in my pocket and no matter how much I tried to just ignore it, it kept poking me with every step I took.

"Let's get this over with...." I whispered to myself and sat on the bed, pulled the box out of my pocket, and took a deep breath.

The instructions said to wait three to four minutes, I had been in the bathroom for longer than that but I hadn't had the balls to look at the stick that whole time. I kept playing different scenarios in my head about the outcome of this test and all of them lead to the ruin of my future. If I was pregnant then I would either keep the baby or give it up for adoption... Or the option that had gotten out class into an hour debate last week... abortion.

It felt like I was giving this too much thought but I had to... I was alone in this.

With a deep shaky breath, I took the stick out of the purple box with shaky fingers and closed my eyes tight before slowly opening them and feeling my heart sink into the pit of my stomach.

Two lines.

"No!"

I screamed at the top of my lungs as I flung the stick across the room, I heard the shattering of glass but didn't care.

I got off the bed and took a deep breath but it couldn't make it reach my lungs. My throat felt tight as if I had a ball stuck there. I couldn't breathe and was gasping for air, my lungs were contracting painfully. Perspiration soaked me within seconds and I felt my head start to spin. My chest felt tight as my heart pounded painfully against my ribcage. I could feel myself shake as I tried to understand what in the fuck had I done. The shaking started slow but soon my knees buckled underneath me and I was shaking on the floor, gasping for air, and tears ran down my cheeks.

"Bee! Open the door! Beatriz!"

The screaming came from outside but I couldn't hear them, my ears felt as if I was under water. My vision became blurry, my mouth tasted funny, my lungs contracted against my ribcage along with my painfully beating heart, my throat was dry and tight... my life was over.