I Can't Change, Even If I Tried, Even If I Wanted To... [SAMPLE]

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To whoever is reading this story. Whoever you're in love with; tell them.

Nothing else hurts more in this world, than loving someone and they don't know; and loving someone, they know you love them, but they don't feel the same way about you; or loving some one who knows you love them but loves someone else.

This story is for the broken hearted, the decieved and the hurt.

CHAPTER 1:

I can hear the rain drops falling from the dark gray sky; pitter pattering on the windscreen of my old worn out Datsun. I'm waiting for my best friend - Cameron; we've been best friends forever, ever since our mother's met whilst in hospital about to give labour. He has the most brownest eyes with tinge of yellow to make it explode, raggedy brownish hair with blonde streaks through it and he is seriously the nicest, most down to earth boy you would ever meet. His looks are just a bonus. He loves screamo music as do I. You can tell by the way I talk about him that I have the biggest crush on him a girl could have.

"AHH SHIT, You scared me!" when Cameron jumped through the window and started tickling me. I gave him a cheeky smirk and long hug; signalling I missed him heaps, even though we see each other almost everyday. He knows I love him; I told him because I thought I had an actual chance to see what it's like to be in love. But who would ever love a girl who is; super thin, yuck blue eyes, scraggy looking brown hair with old faded black dyed bits, and someone who has so many scars across their body.. well this girl is me; Tamika. I'm your average, depressed teenage girl with so many scars on my body it looks like I've been in a mental hospital, I dont eat very much because I'm struggeling with a eating disorder. Which makes it even harder on me because I don't like being this skinny, and people say that I should be happy with my weight. Maybe if they knew I used to up to 70 kilos; now I'm only 51 kilos. I drop alot of weight and it scares me, yet I don't want to eat.

"So where are we heading off to tonight Meak?, Perth or Darwin?" Cameron said with his gorgeous smile. "Up to you, it is your birthday today." I said with a dazed look on my eyes, staring straight into his. "I reckon we should go to Melbourne for a while, we can pick up Santana and have a birthday party. It's a bit of a drive but it would be the most awesome birthday present you would have ever given me. PLEASEEEE?" He says with a puppy dog look and dops his lip to make it look like hes begging for food. "That's perfectly fine, we'll go pick her up and than party. Let's get on the road!" I say faking a smile. I really hate Santana; she's a complete bitch, but I can see why he loves her, she's blonde, gorgeous, a good middle weight, and legs that never end, she is completely opposite to me.

I used to have dreams, scary horrible, gorey dreams in the eyes of someone normal. To me; they were quite pleasent, very nice and relaxing. I imagined myself hurting Santana really bad and torturous. Like a demon wanting to possess the human body before them, wanting suck every last piece of their soul before drowning them in their own nightmares and sorrows.

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