My Record Store Romance

Open Arms

Bada-bing, bada-boom, I’m not dead, just slow at writing.

Enjoy, and please, read the author’s note at the end, this time it’s really important! AKA, if you read, there’s a possibility for you to get a character named after you, (and some other really cool things like a dedication or a review) so make sure you do!

Chapter 31: Open Arms

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Drew's Point of View

In the midst of bliss, chaos exists.

One moment, I'm with Hailey, limbs entangled, breathing slow. Her head falls to the curve of my shoulder, her nose buried deep within the fabric of my t-shirt. We've become a sculpture, as still as statues, forged from exhaustion and arranged on one of the musty leather couches in the record store. She's fallen asleep, her fragile fingers still clutching tightly onto mine. 

Remnants of the previous rainfall lurk upon the windows, sliding down in erratic patterns and crashing into puddles somewhere unknown. The needle of a turntable drifts across a record in the distance, at the end of its delicate performance, now emitting only a hushed, muffled static. The candles, still placed in aimless arrays around us, once flickering with yellow light, have hardened into new formations of falling, dripping wax. The world is quiet.

And the events from the night scourge the deepest depths of my mind; my own, personal labyrinth. First, I think of when it all began, with us dancing- the way Hailey's face lit up when I held her in my arms, the way we swayed and moved so perfectly together, the way her rose petal skin felt brushing up against my brittle fingertips. And then, all at once, the way she crumbled when I told her that we couldn't be together, that it wouldn't work.

After that, when I decided to tell her everything about my past. When her eyes looked like they could swallow stars and her lips spoke words that to me, meant more than the universe. When I was on the brink of collapse, of self-destruction, and she stood strong, still promising a better tomorrow.

Then, when I was drowning in myself- pools of emptiness filling my insides and making it hard to breathe. While I was choking on panic, reveling in my own revulsion, she loved me. She made me feel loved. Like it was something, for once, that I was worthy of.

And then, when we kissed. 

Without thought or recognition, I find myself pulling my hand towards my face, fingers skimming the brim of my lips- feeling her own still pressed against mine. The phantom of a memory I will never be able to forget; a brief glimpse into complete euphoria.

But none of it comes without a cost.

My whole being, my entire soul, aches with a guilt that will never waver. My heart beats into a quiet calamity, my stomach twisting with knots.

Because now, she's apart of the pieces I have that I never wished for her to know. Because now, if I bleed, she'll bleed, and no matter how many times she says it's okay to feel consumed by darkness, I never thought that I could run the risk of taking her light along with my own.

"Drew?" Hailey's tired voice creaks beside me, and I'm so deeply caught within the nets of my own creation that I didn't even notice she had woken up.

My fingers are still pressed to the corners of my lips. I pull them away, adjusting my position so I can tuck a loose strand of her hair behind her ear as she begins to sit up. "Morning, sleepy head." I tease her, trying to manage a smile through complete and utter exasperation. I have never been so tired.